Jason LaBarbera traded

It looks as though the Kings are in no mood for goalie busts as they have traded 6'3'', 225 pound (give him credit, he lost weight over the summer) to the Vancouver Canucks for a seventh round draft pick in the 2009 NHL draft.

It looks as though Jonathan Quick impressed more than I thought. I was assuming that he would get a pat on the back as he was ushered back to Manchester while little Erik redeemed his place in net as Babs sat on the bench and sang along every time "Fuel" was played in Staples. However, the Kings were not so laissez-faire about the whole scenario. It seems to have gone a little more the route of: Jason is bad. Jonathan is good.

I am not disagreeing with the move, but I don't think that so much trust should have been put on Quick so soon. I would have like to see his work in the shootout. Hell, I would have at least like to see his work against a team that, I don't know, is good? I'd like to see him take a shootout against Detroit and then we will see who is in L.A. My guess is that Bernier will be here in less than 2 months*.
*Then again, that is probably when the Kings will be out of playoff contention and they are giving everyone NHL samples (see last year).

The bigger questions are in the rest of the trade agreement. The seventh round pick and Vancouver Canuck recipient threw me for a loop more than anything. Was the best offer management could get for Babs really just a seventh round pick? I would have said fourth; no better, no worse. On top of that, is Luongo's injury really so serious as to need another goaltender? With the only loss being the lowly draft pick, it couldn't hurt (unless they loss his 6 starts in a row; too personal?) but if I were a Vancouver fan (ew) I would be worried.

Kings 0, Blue Jackets 1

What kind of crap was that?

Wrapping up December

Today is the last game of December for L.A. and it is against the Columbus Blue Jackets. I am not going to assume a win because that is usually the kiss of the death for the team. So I will just see how they have done so far this month.

Things are in a bit of a hectic state for the team right now. They had to throw a couple of rookies into the mix with the World Juniors taking our little Oscar, Brad Richardson splitting stitches in practice and San Jose being 2 for 3 in taking out a player when they face the Kings. So far, things haven't gone completely to the birds.

The Kings are 5-6-3 this December with 2 of the 5 wins coming courtesy of the Columbus Blue Jackets themselves; not just wins, mind you, but shutouts. The questionable thing is how Columbus will come out tonight. It is a home game for the Kings, who seem to do significantly better there then on the road (10-7-6 at home, 5-8-0 on the road) but with these points being so significant to the team and assuming Columbus is tired of losing, one can only hope that L.A. doesn't play on their heels to a vengeful Columbus.

Me? I'm not worried. Columbus couldn't even beat Dan Cloutier last year. In a shoot out.

By the look of things, Jonathan Quick is going to be in net tonight. It would not be a surprise, seeing as he was the one to notch the shutout last against the Jackets. He also got the shutout against a streaking, Bryzgalov-laden Phoenix that had previously gone 6-0 versus the team. Plus, he was named one of the NHL's three stars of the week! The world is looking grim for Babs.

One of the saves that he was actually looking at.

It just goes to show you, though. A guy gets two shut outs in three games, lets in only 2 goals in the other and he still only gets to play third fiddle to Alex Ovechkin.

Decem-diagram: A Comparing and Contrasting of Decembers

It would have sounded better if I were talking about November, because then I could have said Novem-diagram and that sounds more similar to Venn diagram. Instead, it turned into a play on words that I had to explain and that's just stupid.

Just to fill you in, my computer apparently is a bear because it went into hibernation (I know that it's a setting, but it's ironic because it was just before the temperature really started dropping). So now I have missed an entire month of the highs and Lows (Angeles). Here is just a quick (not actually quick and not referring to the goalie situation) over view of this December and why Kings fans really shouldn't be too upset.

Any Kings fan who lived through last December still gets a chill that runs up their spines when it is mentioned. I wonder why it could have that effect? Let me take you back.

December can't get to you under there, Aubin

Let's go back to a time when Marc Crawford was coach and LaBarbera was heaven-sent. An innocent time when Frolov was sidelined by an injury and we saw lines like Cammallieri-Kopitar-Brown (granted Cammy had virtually stopped scoring at this point): this was December. It was when Calder and Preissing weren't looked upon because I was too busy disgusted with the likes of Willsie and Stuart.

December 1, 2007
Colorado Avalanche 5, Los Angeles Kings 2


This game was the catalyst that turned that December into what it was. At the time, the management and fans were already rubbing their temples over Dan "good call Crawford" Cloutier (little did we know, we had only seen the tip of the iceberg*) and Jason LaBarbera had finally come to play for the Kings after having a superior season in the AHL. Remember? This was when we all thought Babs was so good that we couldn't risk going through the red tape of his contract and someone snagging him when we try to bring him up. Remember, he had record-setting success; there were no signs that he wouldn't be able to handle being a number one goaltender in the NHL. I guess in the AHL they don't have answers for his patented "fling and sprawl" move.
*Not intended to be a foreshadowing of Ersberg coming into the season and later replacing Jason LaBarbera.

He's so close to understanding butterfly goaltending

He has his weaknesses here and there, but when a player doesn't have dramatic flaws, they get overshadowed by the ones that do (and this team always has a player with a dramatic flaw). Even if he were as bad last year as he has been this year (which he probably was), the Kings would just try to stick with him because when it came down to it, the decision-making idea was "it's either this or Cloutier."

Entering the game, Ryan Smyth was in a bit of a scoring pickle because he had tallied one goal in all of 13 games. He was determined to change that in this game. How? He would take out the one thing that is in the way (Kings had horrible defense that year, so he didn't have to worry about them) and that was the goaltender. With 14:40 remaining in the game, Ryan Smyth stabbed Jason LaBarbera in the ribs (I was there and I am fairly confident that it was a switchblade, but I will have to re-check my sources) and he was replaced by J.S. Aubin. He was quoted after the game talking about what I can only assume is the stabbing of LaBarbera.

"I got my opportunities and took full advantage of it. I've been talking about trying to get to the net a little bit more, and it was just a matter of going out and doing it."

It seems he was planning this for quite some time. I have always hated Colorado, but the douchebaggery has really gotten out of hand. This was the eventual beginning of the end for the 2007-2008 Los Angeles Kings as they would eliminate themselves from playoff contention with a December record of 4-11-1, earning them 9 points out of a possible 32.

Notes

The next night, the Kings played Garon and the rest of the Oilers. It went to a shootout and the Kings lost, of course, because Garon has faced their shots more than anyone else in the league. He was quoted about wanted to leave L.A. because he had felt that he wasn't needed. Boy, was he off the mark on this one:

"I think it started the summer before last season when they got (Dan Cloutier. By that time, I knew I was not really part of the plan anymore. I think I had a good season last year, but I knew I was not their guy. Obviously, I didn't want to spend another season like that, and that's why I decided to take a different path."

The Kings had their ever-so-pleasant eight game losing streak in that month which lasted from December 12-26 in which they lost eight games in regulation to: Chicago, Dallas, Minnesota, Colorado, Detroit, Columbus, Nashville, and San Jose.

On the 6th of that December, Jonathan Quick (there because of an injury to Aubin) celebrated his first NHL win in his NHL debut as the Kings beat the Sabres 8-2 in Staples Center. Goals came from Camalleri, Brown (2), Preissing (2), Modry, Handzus (SH) and Armstrong. In that game, 11 of the 18 Kings skaters earned a point.

By the end of December of last season, Anze Kopitar had 16 goals. In that month he had a six game point streak and carried over a stat 10 points in 11 games that started at the end of November. That would be 7 goals and 2 assists.

The L.A. Kings had 12 games in 21 days that month (16 total) and 4 back-to-back games with 7 of 8 being away games.

The Point

In the end, take from the comparison what you will. Celebration can be made that our December record this year doesn't look a little like: 4-11-1 or rioting can ensue on the grounds that while the Kings are clawing to the .500 mark, a healthy, "best shape of my life" Babs is doing similar damage as an injured Mr. Stay Puft '08. Ok, how about the fact that we are still in the playoff run? If anything than look at the December that the Islanders and Blues* are having (yikes!).
*Suck it Murray!
Now that we have come and gone from that lagoon of loss that is December 2007, let us look at all the beautiful and positive changes that have occurred in the time in between. Now let's try to figure out how Quick and Zeiler made it into both Decembers. I honestly have no idea why John Zeiler is still associated with this franchise.

Major congratulations are in hand for a Mr. Jon Quick. Here on an emergency call-up and he records 2 shutouts in 3 games. The NHL did not recognize him for his tremendous efforts, but Kings fans sure as hell do. He is the reason (not the sole reason*, but a huge one) that this team finally has beaten Phoenix when that damn Bryzgalov was in net.
*Another contributing factor, of course, being the fact that they were wearing their third jerseys.

Christmas Wishes

Dear Santa,

I know that you probably would like to receive Christmas mail via postage, the way I've been contacting you up until now, but I figured that this would do just as well.

I don't want to waste your time because I know that you have a lot of business to take care of, especially so late in the year, so I will get to the point. All I want for Christmas this year is to beat Colorado tonight in regulation. It's not much, and I didn't want to go overboard and ask for playoff contention or to win the Freezeway Faceoff, even though it has crossed my mind many a-times.

I am not saying that I didn't like your previous gifts; that sweater was heaven and if it ever gets to be cold enough along California's coast, I will definitely wear it. It is just that this year, we have not been able to beat Colorado and there is really no reason for it; they truly are douche bags. So I figured that if they couldn't win on their own, maybe you could help them; if ever they needed it, this is the time. You see, Zeiler is rumored to be going back in and Ersberg is having trouble and it is in Denver and with the two points, we could leapfrog over them in the standings.

I am sorry for yelling at the Detroit fan that sat behind me, and questioning the parenting skills of that man with the little girl in the Ducks hat (I was kidding!), and saying that Kyle Calder is a waste of sperm and egg (I wasn't kidding!), and laughing at that older lady that fell off her motor chair when she went over a bump (she couldn't hear me). If you could find it in your heart to make my Christmas wish come true after all of the things that I just told you, I would be the happiest Kings fan in the whole world.

If on the other hand, you can't find a way to help me out (liar!), I will have to tell Mrs. Claus about what held you out late last year.

You don't need to know sources, give them a damn win!

Happy Birthday, Doughty!

Today is Drew Doughty's birthday. It is a day for celebrating and for Kings fans to appreciate having such an amazing person on the team, plus I don't have to feel like the team is breaking some sort of child labor laws having him play 25:00 per game.

I won't gush about him or anything (mostly because I have to save it for an extensive year-end review of this little gem) but I will say that it is not often that fans get to see such a respectable, charming, and talented player.

It is his first year in the NHL, fresh out of the 2008 NHL Draft and Wikipedia has already received word that he was the most important person born on December 8, 1989. Damn straight.

My present to you, Drew.

So here's to Drew Doughty and all of the hope that his presence brings.

December 3, Kings 0

I mean Kings 3, Columbus 0.

If anyone remembers the black hole that December proved to be last year, they remember the pain and anguish that it caused, pretty much removing the Kings from playoff contention. This is only one win so the curse of December is still in the air, but hell, I'm just glad that there is no eight game losing streak.

I'll give them praise for winning, but passes were subpar and had it been any other team, the Kings' mistakes would have been capitalized on. LaBarbera came up with a couple of big saves (because the goon didn't have to deal with one-on-one shots) but the real thanks was to the defensemen that quickly swept the puck out of the crease whenever Babs decided to pull his thrusting-kick-save move that he does (you know, the over dramatic move that makes him look like an idiot). Let's not forget though, the last time that the Kings had faced and beaten Columbus was when Cloutier was in net (and it went to the shootout, too). In the end, Babs got the shutout and Kings got the win, so I guess the bitching stops here.

That goal from Simmonds: Wow. Can I get a hell yeah?* I mostly like it because it came from Simmonds and I will root for him through suckness and in stealth (ZING!). It was just a good goal though, I mean he had the defenseman on his side and a small margin to shoot. It was the goal that Patty O was trying for all night. He would settle for an assist.
*hell yeah

As far as Kyle Calder goes, he still doesn't get any praise. If anyone played with Kopitar and Brown as much as he did, they would have much more goals. This goal is about 6 games late, so he doesn't get rewarded for finally doing what he is expected to. Douche bag.

Meanwhile, I don't see how anyone could say that Brown is playing anything but as well as he can. He is hitting only when he finds it appropriate to do so and shooting like Yosemite Sam. He is leading by example and there is not one bad thing that I have to say about him. Plus, on the Jumbotron, he was with some kids for this "hockey-players-have-hearts" spiel and just seeing the way that he interacts with the little guys makes me wish that he were my dad.

The Kings end their 4-in-6 week with 3 points. They really should have won all of them or at least the first three. What can you do, right? They are resting up and head to Colorado to play the Avalanche on Tuesday; a team that the Kings should beat every time, but never seem to be able to do. At least the Oilers beat San Jose; since Lubo is on the team, it feel like the Kings had a part in beating San Jose, too. That's probably as close as they are going to get this season, too.

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

Edmonton stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

People care about John Zeiler?

There is an oddly provocative story about the hubbub over John Zeiler's hit to Adam Foote during the Kings' home game against Colorado on November 22, 2008. What was supposed to be a celebration of the Kings' third jersey and a new horizon for the franchise turned into the night of a million "John Zeiler" searches on Google, apparently. I didn't really think that it deserved as much attention as it got. If anything, Foote underestimated Zeiler by assuming that he wouldn't do something as stupid as hit him in the numbers. As Zeiler really is just the comic relief of the team, I had no problem with any of this. Others? Not so much.

"He could have been maimed!" "A hit that could have very well ended Foote's career."

I don't want to come across as cynical or joyful that Foote could have been badly injured, but it is clear that the people who are posting such comments really do not follow the Kings at all because I, for one, am just happy that Zeiler completed a check without falling down.

Sure, he could have gotten a 12 game suspension and Colorado fans (idiots) could rest easy at night knowing that John Zeiler and the L.A. Kings know not to play in such a fowl way. The reality is that Zeiler has the intelligence of a goldfish; they mean well, but can't see what is right in front of them and, to be honest, if their species were to become extinct the world would not be any worse off. In reality, no harm is done to the team or Zeiler. He will go out and pull boneheaded moves and the Kings will somehow learn to live without this destined fourth line winger.

I particularly like this picture of Zeiler that clearly is trying to have influence over the reader and could not describe him any less perfectly.

What isn't pictured is that he is actually blowing a kiss to Ersberg.

Any Kings fan that knows about Zeiler at all knows that picture is not an accurate portrayal of Zeiler and his style of play. A suggestion of a better photo choice?

There is the Zeiler we all know and....well, the one we know.

And when he is not directly involved in the play?

He's wondering who to check, no doubt.

In the end, I am sure that John Zeiler's career will be much shorter than Adam Foote's (Feet?) and if I were an Avalanche fan the comfort of knowing that would be enough to keep my mouth shut.

Holy Jokinen, we better win tonight

The Kings are scheduled to play four games in six days this week; two back-to-backs with a two days break in between (yea, I know). With the apparent scrimmage that the Kings sold tickets to, one would think that they are ready to....I don't know...put some effort forth.

I have mixed emotions about the "fight" (aggressive hugging) that Armstrong got into with Jeff Finger (haha) after he had knocked the wind out of Moller. I really liked that Armstrong was standing up for the littlest King, but it was a clean hit and Moller had his head down. It's nice to see a team sticking together, but maybe he should have just told Moller about making sure he is aware of his surroundings rather than acting sort of like a redneck mom. I am just really protective over Moller, so it tickled my heart to see Armstong stick up for him, but had it been anyone else, I wouldn't really have cared.

I cannot put into words just how upsetting that game was. There were Toronto fans everywhere, and we were supposed to have them make like a tree that they so oddly adore and leave (yes, Toronto, leave. You know, the plural form of "leaf." Oh. You don't know?). Near the 7 minute mark of the third, even Bailey seemed to give up hope. This marked the first loss that the team has had when leading after two periods. Neither team played all that well, but at least Toronto had a pep in their step whereas the Kings just seemed to be sort of laissiz faire. They had perfect scoring chances that they managed to screw up. I won't drop names, but in the third the Kings' #11 had a wide open net (I can't stress enough how wide open it was) and made a miraculous shot that went up and over it. I don't know what is going on with that kid but if Calder weren't on that line, I would be severely pissed off. Fortunately for Kopitar, I have bigger fish to fry.

Left: Kopitar Right: Preissing, Richardson, Calder

If anything is to be learned from this game, it is that maybe, just maybe someone should teach the players about offensive attack. It seems like they are just winging it and going off of what they already know rather than a coordinated team effort, it shows on any given power play.

So the Kings are in Pheonix and the game will be on FSN at 6:30 (Pacific Standard Time). I don't think that they will win, so if they do it will be nothing but positivity from my part. This is one of those teams that the Kings should really have no problem beating (like Toronto or Colorado) but just can't seem to snag to two points from. I just hope that, if anything, it's not in Rinkside View.

John Zeiler suspended

What what what?

At 6:51 of the second period, John Zeiler delivered a hit to Adam Foote. From what I had seen of the hit, it seemed innocent enough. After a previous Colorado player on the ice and waiting for a stretcher to make an appearance before getting to his feet, I thought of it as a "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" type of thing so I didn't buy into it. I guess that it was pretty bad? I don't know. If I were Foote, I wouldn't admit that Zeiler had injured me in any way. That's just embarrassing.

It seems that most people find the need to cover this. I guess it is because of the pulling back of the reigns when it come to the dirty plays in the NHL. I will still stick by my guns and refuse to accept that it was an intentional blow to the head, or that it was a dirty hit. I will instead just have it boil down to "shit happens."

There are a few points of this story that I happen to find hilarious. Lappy was quoted saying, "I kind of knew it wasn’t a clean hit because (Zeiler) is known for that. He did that last year, checking guys from behind and stuff like that."
Really? I didn't even know that Zeiler is known for anything let alone being known for his dirty play. Half the time his checks end up with his own ass on the ice.

When asked about the situation Foote said, “I think what happens in (Zeiler’s) situation is you’re hungry, you want to make the club and you’ll do whatever it takes. In his position, his job is to get hits and stuff like that. At the same time, though, you’ve got to know when someone is in a vulnerable situation.”

Does this honestly look like the face of someone that computes the angle to which the player he is checking will fall? I don't even think he could understand what I just said.

I am pretty pissed that, as a result of his hit, Foote will not be able to play in Colorado's game against Anaheim. Nice one, douche bag. Colorado sucks enough as it is, no need to further help Anaheim out.

So Fresh and So Clean Clean

4-3 loss in the shootout. I don't want to talk about it.

So the Kings have unveiled their new third jersey, and eh. It is not the worst of the third jerseys to be unveiled this year (seriously Atlanta, what the hell?) but it is nowhere near the best (you go, Buffalo!) so it just ends up in this weird purgatory. While the helmet and socks are a nice taste of the most beloved of Kings eras, the logo looks like a traffic sign and the players' names and numbers should have been changed to a different text. I just find it hard to believe that with all of the inspiration that L.A. has to offer as well as the term "King", somehow designers thought this was the perfect logo to epitomize all of that.

I would have to say that the helmets were the best part of it all. Noticeable during warm-ups.

Looks good in motion.

With where that logo is pointing, they should bring back "We play for L.A."

There is mixed debate over whether to hate the new look or even care. If they had won the game, I might warm up to a little more, but for now it is a constant reminder that I hate losing to Colorado but the team seems to love it. Whatever, no expectations this season, right? Ever since Smyth took a stab at Babs, I have never really respected them or the majority of the Kings, mostly because Babs' first game back after being stabbed was against Colorado and the team hung him out to dry. How fucked up, right?

In any case, the hype that was blown up about this jersey seemed to do marketing good because it was a sell out with a capital "sell out." I hated the fans that were there; most of them were stupid frat boys and sorority girls from Tappa Kegga or something. Why Kings, why? How could you sell out? How about being selective about the fans that you are attracting next time, you ticket whores.

I don't know, maybe it was a good idea that stupid people were there, it was a stupid game filled with stupid fakers on and off the ice. Stupid stupid stupid.

The Habs and Hab Nots

If you happened to stop by to vote for the players to appear in the 2009 NHL All-Star game, you will notice that not only are the Kings' numbers absurdly tiny, but it seems that the entire starting lineup for the Eastern Conference will be comprised of Montreal Canadiens.

"But wait, is the game not to be held in Montreal this year? It may be rambunctious fans voting often to see such a monumental event as to have all six players of the starting lineup to be from one team; it does not seem so odd given that it is Montreal."

Why yes, I suppose that one option could be that Montreal must have a very and truly dedicated fan base that would spend 16-hour shifts at a computer to make sure that every player possible would go. The problem is not in the simple fact, but rather the large numbers that Montreal takes over. The numbers are larger than other, more obvious choices to be voted in. Even Canada finds it suspicious that Kovalev, Koivu and Tanguay are all up and over the 300,000 mark.

(As of Monday, November 24, 2008)
Forwards
Kovalev, Alex: 314,063
Koivu, Sakku: 311,114
Tanguay, Alex: 307,666
Crosby, Sydney: 228,662
Malkin, Evgeni: 186,565
Ovechkin, Alex: 142,223
Semin, Alex: 90,941

Defensemen
Markov, Andrei: 349,824
Komisarek, Mike: 313,718
Chara, Zdeno: 139,293
Gonchar, Sergei: 127,921
Green, Mike: 124,421*
Whitney, Ryan: 110,518
Numminen, Teppo: 64,494
*That seems most suspicious to me. I don't trust palindromes.

Goalies
Price, Carey: 340,370
Fleurry, Marc-Andre: 141,770
Miller, Ryan: 69,303
Lundqvist, Henrik: 68,390
Thomas, Tim: 41,387

I guess it is just a matter of opinion. Damn right there is an investigation into it. Dirty cheats.

No words. Honestly: Kings 5, Capitals 2, Ovechkin -4

I just got back from the Kings' game and all I can say is Sham-WOW.

What I don't care about:

• I don't care that Alex Semin and Mike Green were scratched.
• I don't care that they played back-to-back.
• I don't care that almost half of our goals were empty netters.
• I don't care that Washington got away with questionable plays.
• I don't care that Ovechkin got a point against us.
• I don't care that Ovechkin had a real bitch check on Kopitar.

What I do care about:

• I love that Ovechkin has never scored a goal against the Kings.
• I love that Brown took the penalty from Ovechkin and then scored the power play goal.
• This is the fourth team that traveled to California and has lost to LA but beat the Ducks.
• Tonight, Alex O was a -4 along with Backstrom.
• Tonight, John MF Zeiler (haha) had a very nice check on Sloan, and he didn't screw anything up.
• In the third period, Doughty stripped Ovechkin of the puck quite nicely.
• Anze Kopitar scored a goal; a shorthanded goal (remember: don't care about the empty net).
• Washington is seventh best in the league in shots for (31.0) and we held them to 21.
• Patrick O'Sullivan scored with a simple beauty of a goal in a "yeah, I belong on the top line" way.
• Drew Doughty scored the first goal of the game. I don't have enough space to bast about him.
• The last time Caps lost in regulation was November 1. Until now that is.
• Matt Green didn't play. I know I said that I didn't care, but I just mean that the win is no less meaningful, but I would have liked to see him play.

This is the best day of my life.

Let's get a few things straight...

Alright, as my computer had gone Hayward* over the past couple of days, I was not able to mention how amazing it was to have a four-game winning streak. Just as I was rearing and ready to go, Kings lose back-to-back games and in following suite to their rhythm in the opening game/night weekend, they only scored one goal. Thanks assholes. I refused to watch any sports highlight show in fear of the whole "scoring on your own empty net" ordeal being brought to surface.

*I don't mean haywire, I mean Hayward; it was acting like a little bitch and refusing to believe that the problems it was going through had nothing to do with its own actions. Hey Hayward! Most penalized team in the league? It's because you guys are assholes, stop blaming it on "marginal calls."

I have never been a fan of Kyle Calder. He is boring, stupid, and Patty O rocks the soul patch much, much better than he does.

Exhibit A

I have thought that Calder had no place on the team. If Armstrong couldn't play than neither could Calder. At least Armstrong isn't afraid to let Mike Ribeiro know when he is pulling a douche bag move like his little motion towards the bench after his shootout extension goal in the November 11th defeat of the Stars.

In any case, I have provided a few lineup suggestions for the Kings that are emotion-based changes; best way to choose a line up, right?

O'Sullivan - Stoll- Brown
Moller - Handzus - Simmonds
Richardson - Kopitar - Moulson/Harrold
Zeiler - Armstrong - Boyle

I can explain:

First of all, I did not account for whether the players shoot right or left because, well, I knew this wasn't going to be taken that seriously and I didn't intend it to.

The first line should be pretty obvious. I think that those players are deserving of top line minutes and with Stoll bringing in his 58.4% faceoff win percentage and super sweet shot to the top line, good things will follow.

The second line would make me completely overjoyed to see. Simmonds and Moller had moments together in the preseason that were discussed in short. Scar commented on it, saying that he just "knew where we was on the ice at all times." I don't know if I should have used quotes because I am just going off of memory here. Handzus is pretty much there to win faceoffs and keep the sexual tension between these two to a minimum.

I hoped that giving Kopitar less pressured ice time would help him with puck impetancy. Don't worry Kop, it happens to everyone once in a while; you'll get through it.


Kopitar is there to inject the lower lines with talent in a Patrick O'Sullivan mannar and I refuse to have a player that we traded a second round pick in next year's draft for to be sitting on the sides as a healthy scratch. I'm talking about you Richardson. I don't care if he has to practice 6 extra hours everyday to not suck so terribly; get his ass on the ice. I put Moulson and Harrold lumped together because I want Harrold to play, but if Moulson is done being scared of scoring than he can return. Moulson and Kopitar are the new O'Sullivan and Brown.

The fourth line is just stupid and I will admit that. I feel bad that Armstrong is a healthy scratch purely because of how long he has been with the team. Well, that and because Calder gets to be on the top line while Armstrong can't even play? I mean, I don't like the guy particularly but that's just not right so I turned the tables and threw Calder out of the lineup*. I threw in Zeiler because he makes me laugh and I want to have a reason to be happy if the Kings are going to be this inconsistant. Lastly, Boyle just kind of ended up in there because I was done and hadn't realized that he was still hanging around; I didn't really hate him enough to replace him si he just stayed where he was.

*or over a building, I can't really recall which.

Defense was not changed because when you score one goal in two games (in two occasions), the least of your worries is defense.

Nov. 4th: One Less Reason to Celebrate; Kings 0, Ducks 1

I am warning you now, this will be a lengthy and (most likely) unfulfilling post; like eating a bag of popcorn, "Well it was a lot, but I barely feel satisfied.That was just a waste of time." Starting out, I would like to salute the captain on this (yesterday), his happy day. It is (was) Dustin Brown's birthday. How true-blue American can this guy get? Quiet, blue-eyed, blond haired, beat-the-shit-out-of-what-he-has-to-for-the-job-to-get-done, married-his-high-school-sweetheart, wife-and-kids Dustin Brown is even born on the day that Americans vote. This is where a line from one of last year's program would fit so well, if it were not so damn cheesy, plus it was talking about Jack Johnson: his blood is red, but also has a bit of white and blue in it. Yea, I know, I told you. As a monumental day as Captain's birthday, Gauthier's 500th game, the historic election results being what they are, and (why not? let's throw hockey in there again) Luc Robitaille voting for the first time, why wouldn't we celebrate? Chris Pronger is here to remind us.

After 3 periods of the Kings out-playing the Ducks or the Ducks down-playing to the Kings, and one monster check on Rob of the Niedermayer clan by the monster on ice himself, Brian Boyle, the game ended when Chris Pronger put it in net in OT just as Wayne Simmonds steps out of the penalty box on a 2 minute hooking call that had spilled over from the end of regulation (Hooray for run-ons!).


Though the referees of the game were not exactly rookies with the referees being Paul Devorski and Kelly Sutherland, the calls were somewhat questionable on both sides of the game. There were obvious calls that should have been made (the Kings had too many men on the ice about 3 times. In retrospect, well, you know what they say: water isn't clean when ducks are swimming in it. I am assuming that the same rule applies during winter, assuming also that the ducks did not migrate and learned to play hockey.) and there were calls that were head-scratchers to say the least. I don't want to drop any names, but if I were going to do it, I would bring up the offsides calls. It was not the sheer calls but the timing that did not go in the best direction, but I won't go in that direction.

The Kings' players with the most TOI were Kyle Quincey (24:52), Drew Doughty (21:38), and Anze Kopitar (20:05). There in lies a curious problem. Anze Kopitar was on the ice for 20 minutes and recorded 2 shots on goal. Dustin Brown had 18:49 and 5 shots on goal. I was trying to figure out the reasoning behind the weird "lull" that Kopitar is in. To offer a comparison, I went back to the last time that the Kings beat the Ducks while Kopitar was an offensive powerhouse. It was January 24, 2008. Kopitar recorded the same amount of shots, but scored a powerplay goal. His total time on ice was 18:36 (-1:29); during the powerplay he was on the ice for 6:17 (+00:37), even strength he was on the ice for 11:20 (-00:19), and during the penalty kill he was on the ice for 00:59 (-1:47). There is really no rhyme or reason for throwing numbers out; I would like to say that the clear problem is that Kopitar is not a penalty killer because his role it to take the puck to the net. When the puck is taken to the net on the PK and a goal does not result, it leads almost immediately to a risky turnover. I don't know if that is the problem though. I think Kopitar has other numbers to worry about like the 6.8 million dollars he is going to get per season, or the 72 points he had his rookie season, with the 82 point total in the sequential year, or maybe it's 1982- the year that Murray's coaching strategies are stuck in. Whatever the case maybe, the only numbers he should be thinking about are 5- the number of scoring chances that he had, 11-the amount of games played so far this season and the amount of points he had at this time last season, and 1- the line he is playing on.

For some reason, in Kyle Calder's 13:09 he had the puck in his favor more than I have seen anything go in Calder's favor. Of course, he was putting the cylinder in the triangle hole, but what is expected, really. Well, he is expected to put points up, but everyone knew what was going on this year, we all know he couldn't even put the puck past Cloutier in practice.

This was a game that definitely went to the rookies. The standouts, by far, were Drew Doughty and Wayne Simmonds. With Drew's oh so impressive pass to Kopi in the crease gave me chills and Simmonds put himself in the right places in the right times and because of that I will choose to not remember that hooking penalty with a minute and a half to go. In addition to rookies, Moller played as well as he usually does but was not as fiery in past games, but how cute did he look when he was pouting in the penalty box? Other noteables are Kyle Quincey and Erik Ersberg. Both played a solid game against a team that is on a winning streak. Ersberg was fighting for a chance to start in another game...ever and Matlock was just having fun with his Buddy O. After seeing the game against Detroit, it's hard to not want that type of play from him, but that was about 98% vinegar because Matlock was bitter salty that night. Extra Kudos go out to Ersberg and Moller. Why? Love the Swedes and this is the only chance I will get to recognize them both.

If we don't break this losing streak against Florida, I will throw myself under a Zamboni and end the suffering at once*.

*complete lie

Kings are boring...

Jarret Stoll has a blog post on The Hockey News and I have provided a link. I don't recommend clicking it. I will say that the title (kinda) is "Jarret Stoll's Blog: Starting Anew in Los Angeles." Anything that you assume would be written about the subject is there. It is three paragraphs of obvious. I regret wasting my time reading what most Kings fans could have better written.

Is it possible that there are two people (the other one being Calder) that are more dull than Tom Preissing? It seems like a crime against the human race for people this uninteresting to flaunt it.

Just because I don't want to waste another post on this:

Matt Moulson is 25 today. Happy Birthday Matty! Guess what? Dustin Brown, Anze Kopitar and Jack Johnson (you know, silly goose; the team's top players?) are all younger than you. Get to practicing and try not to screw up the top line too much, eh?

November 1, 2008: Kings vs Flames

Tonight is the most uncomfortably excited that I've felt in a long while. There is so much depth to this story, you could scuba dive in it off the coast of Brazil.

"Great Blue Hole"......creative.

For starters, this is the game in which Oscar Moller is officially declared part of the team, one of the guys. His salary will be what is stated in his entry-level contract. This does not cement his place on the team, however; he can still be sent back down to Juniors, but it will still count as the first year in his contract. So congratulations, Ozzy, that is your name now because Oscar is just not good. Here's to you, Ozzy, one of the best Swedes on the team! You just have to realize that if you screw up badly enough, it's back to juniors; so don't drink too much. Wait, is that even legal? God, this team is young.

This is also the first awkward meeting of departures (the first that was 100% the responsibility of Dean Lombardi)* that fans were against. Yes, I think you know who I am talking about. Craig "Charisma" Conroy will be in L.A. to wave hello to the fans and walk all over the little tikes that are out there attempting to play hockey. I think that Michael Cammalleri will be there too. Cammy should not be a problem, his 10th game of the season was two days ago so he is coasting from here on out. At least it would make him consistent.
*in case you don't get it, my eyes are motioning towards Rob Blake

Either Terry Murray played Lineup Lotto during Happy Hour at his Halloween party last night or he is a huge fan of The Cars because he really did "Shake it Up." (ZING!) Of course Babs will be in net because of Murray's guilt of aborting their love child. The lines tonight should look a little something like this:

Moulson-Kopitar-Brown
Frolov-Moller-Calder
O'Sullivan-Handzus-Simmonds
Stoll-Boyle-Ivanans

This brings me to awkward moment #2. Marc Crawford, of Hockey Night in Canada, will be there. As we all know, he led the Kings to 29th place in his two years of coaching. He was let go, L.A. is paying his salary (a butt-load) and he is blogging and interviewing on Hockey Night in Canada. He will be interviewing yet-to-blossom-this-season-superstar Anze Kopitar. I can already cut the tension with a machete.

He looks like he is in the middle of saying, "Fuck you..." under his breath.

I have a conspiracy theory that Marc Crawford has changed the lines in an attempt to help out L.A. Crow took one look at the lineup and thought "No, no this isn't right. Put Calder on there. Yes and Boyle, too. Where's that damn Preissing? He's in Hawaii? What? Ok, fine, put in Moulson at the top and Patty O with Zeus. Yes, Patrick on the third line. It's genius. I'll show them who can coach." He was foaming at the mouth while his veins were bulging at the neck. He turned in the roster card just as Terry Murray yelled, "Hey! He's not in charge anymore!" The deed was done.

This is going to be good. Aren't you excited, FSN? Haha. That's funny- not televised. Haha...ha. Aw, dammit. Are you serious?!

Just a Little Halloween Brouhaha

LAKings.com has a story in which some of the Kings players' share their favorite Halloween costumes from the past or what they plan on dressing up as for today. I thought it would be fun to (almost) completely disregard what they said and create costume ideas for them.

I first off must pay homage to Jack Johnson. He mentioned a year in which his brother was Winnie the Pooh and he matched it with a Tigger costume. The thought of how cute that must have been makes yawning baby panda bears say "Aww..."

I have chosen to assign costumes to a select few. The select few that I care about or dislike enough to put thought into.

Jack Johnson: Tigger; I need to see that

Patrick O'Sullivan: Brian O'Connor from Goosebumps: The Perfect School

Main reason being actually looking like the character.

Dustin Brown: Baby New Year. I really don't think that I need to explain myself.

Anze Kopitar: He says that he has a Dustin Brown jersey and is going as the Captain himself. I like that idea. Apparently they are going to be each other, but not in this blog. Dustin, you will be in diaper and top hat at once!

Game time is as good a time as any to be brainstorming Halloween costumes.

Wayne Simmonds: Wesley Snipes from Blade. I am hoping that if he stays in character long enough, he will draw a line in the ice and anyone who tries to pass it will get pummeled to the ground.

Alexander Frolov: A rabbit. I would love to see him laughing at himself with a little painted on nose saying, "Eyem a raybbit."

Michal Handzus: He said that he had no favorite costume, that October 31 is just another day for him. I will not assign a costume for him. I just want to paint the picture of him at home (Daniel Day Lewis' house in There Will be Blood) by a fireplace in a red satin smoking robe. He has a Calabash pipe and is reading Finnegan's Wake. Like a pre-mortem Crypt Keeper.

Oscar Moller: He admitted that he was thinking of being Batman. Go with that thought, Ozzy. It is the part you were born to play. The old school Batman too, no chest plate or anything; I'm talking leotard and spandex. This should provide an amazing mental picture.

John Zeiler: He said that he wore a banana suit one year. I really think that he is the only person that is enough of a douche bag for that to be 100% completely suitable without looking like the person is trying too hard to be funny.

Psst...we can see your balls.

Erik Ersberg: Peach, the Princess from Super Mario.

Brian Boyle: Godzilla.

Kyle Calder/Tom Preissing: Tampon and Maxi Pad. I don't care which is which.

No Tricks, No Treats, Just a Loss: Kings 0, Luongo 4

So the whole "Hey, it's a day before Halloween" thing got a little tired before and during the game. It was the same things playing on the Jumbotron with the exception of a few "scary" (cheap) graphics of bats, spiders, ghosts and Derek Armstrong.

OK there were a couple tricks, if you know what I mean. ZING!

*Simmonds knows what I mean.

I honestly don't know what the Kings were doing out there. They really had no significant plays that were made; they had a few scoring chances that were evaporated by either the team's lack of speed or the fact that the puck was closest to Gauthier. Even though the Kings out shot Vancouver, they did not have as many scoring chances. The Kings outhit Vancouver but L.A. was the group dragging their heels. For that reason, this game can definitely not be summed up with numbers and percentages. The only real percentage that tells a story is Babs' save percentage. He just did not look good. There were times when the entire crowd was reacting faster than he was, he was out of the crease too often for his skill level and just couldn't find the puck.

Mason Raymond successfully faked out Oscar Moller to score the second Vancouver goal. I like the way Moller is playing, and I think that if he were to be sent back down to Juniors, it is based purely on the penny-pinching ways of Dean Lombardi and his want for no time to be wasted in Moller's entry-level contract. It would be easy to pick apart his game tonight, but he was making mistakes that eventually disappear with experience. As Billy Joel says of "The Entertainer", "The things I did not know at first, I learned by doing twice."

I don't know if the decision to put Brown, Patty O and Kopi on one line was such a good one. I liked the Patty O, Stoll, Moller line. It just seemed to work. The job of filling the void and giving Kopitar breathing room has been up for grabs with no solid fit. The problem with Kopitar is that he was fairly unknown before this year. He was a huge name in L.A. and a promising up-and-comer in the NHL, but he was not an obvious target like Shiny and Sparkly (Crosby and Ovechkin) or the biggest little wave like Patrick "Prepubescent" Kane; Anze Kopitar was L.A.'s best kept secret. Not to say that coach's weren't aware of his talent before, but they probably didn't think that he was a big enough threat to make him a specific target. Now that he is a recognized face, he has to learn how to take his game to the next level (how cliche) and learn how to distinguish when people are going to be after him as well as how to get around or avoid that completely.

Maybe avoid a little of this...

Last year, fans had something to say about how little Kopitar did on the defensive side of things. I would have liked to see that, but with everything else wrong with the team, Kopitar was no where near one of my main focuses. Now that it is about fine tuning everything and cutting away unnecessary bits to make room for what is direly needed on the team, it is clear that Kopitar could use some defensive skills. He is not expected to be Dion Phaneuf; no one wants him on defense, it would just be nice if he could defend himself though. With all of the pressure that is put on him every time he has the puck, he needs to learn how to deal with it and give himself room to make plays by pushing back and not getting trapped into a corner. I think that if anything, the pressure that Vancouver put on the puck holders should be a great guide to map escape routes for the puck in pressured situations so that they can get a quality shot off. Wow, a nice sportsmanlike review*.

Suck it, Vancouver!!!

*Dammit, so close...

Deep Emotional Trauma: Kings 3, Detroit 4 SO, Gauthier Dead

Stanley Cup Champions. Technically not last place*. Detroit fans. Kings fans.

*I say technically because Tampa and Los Angeles were tied for 30th last season, but we had one more win than they did. So we are technically not the biggest losers.

I don't know why I got so heated after this game, but I did. I was so angry I couldn't see straight. I wanted to punch a baby (a really young and defenseless one, not those smart ass toddlers). I wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of every panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all of the French beaches I'd never see.*

*Fight Club quotes....

The worst possible thing that I had heard immediately after the game, when I was most peeved (yes, peeved)? "It's just a game." Its just a game? Don't give me that cliche, pep-talk shit. Had we won, those words would not dare be uttered. It is not just a game.

This is the measurement of what it takes to have the opportunity to hoist the Stanley Cup. This is the team that we have to eventually learn to become. These are the people that dominate the NHL.

After having opened the floodgates of encouraging words from Dean Lombardi, Terry Murray, Dustin Brown, Jason LaBarbara*, Anze Kopitar, and Drew Doughty about how this team is going in the right direction, it is crushing to see how far away we are. I was obviously not expecting to see Stanley Cup-esk improvements over one long summer, but I would like the bull shit to be kept at a minimum. It is not necessary to pump the fans full of delusions of grandeur; we have stuck through it this far and are not going anywhere soon; and L.A. has such bandwagon fans, you are not going to attract any attention unless you start winning some games. So while we are still nowhere near positive thinking, don't give us the impression that we are.

*Hah!

There are a couple of things in particular about the game that sting with just the thought of:

1. Riding the Crimson wave: I was well aware that they were coming, and they were coming in flocks as far as the eye could see. I felt bad that the Kings could not rely on the support of the crowd, especially since they are so young and fragile. The nail in the camel's coffin, though? The chick right behind me. She was a Detroit fan because her boyfriend was, and I am pretty sure that they weren't dating before last year because the only names that she knew were Zetterberg and Datsyuk. In a screeching voice, she would shout out "c'mon red wIIIIIIngs." "c'mon zetter-burgh." That was it. I don't think that the change in spelling did this chick's annoyance justice. She added this redneck 'ur' sound to Zetterberg's name. For one thing, females should not yell at games if they aren't going to deepen their voices because it gets to the ears like a fire alarm. If you turn your head a little it's OK, but you pivot it slightly and it rings the eardrums like a Notre Dame bell. Plus, I always envied how easy it was to be a Detroit fan; never having to say things like "Shoot the puck!", "What are you doing?" or "Why is Willsie out there?"

2. Maybe?: Possibly the worst thing about the game was that I was mentally prepared to lose. I went in there and for a while I was just a spectator to the wonders of Detroit's play. It wasn't until there were about 8 minutes left in that game and we were up by one that I thought "Hey, we could...I mean, theoretically speaking...win this." My blood was pumping. I was thinking about how I was going to see the replay of this when I got home. I was thinking about how amazing it is going to be to see that chick's disappointed face along with hundreds of others. I was thinking about how I would title this to be a play on words with David and Goliath, I was thinking about little Kyle Quincey's heart swelling with joy to defeat the team that had believed him to be unnecessary. Then, about 2 minutes before all wishes that day were to come true, I was thinking about how I wanted to see Gautheir's head on a stick. I was thinking about how I loathed the Kings offense for shutting down, about that 5-on-3 (or as I like to call it, Certain Death), about how much I wanted Armstrong and Greene to have cut the crap with words and finally let L.A. fist meet Detroit face, and I was thinking that if this went to a shootout, I would throw myself from the third tier of Staples Center. As it went to the shootout I, in true L.A. fashion, didn't follow through on my promises.

3. Matlock: My heart ached for Kyle Quincey. He played with a chip on his shoulder that could be seen through his form-fitted, aerodynamic Rbk jersey. He earned an assist that night and, out of pity and a sad attempt to make him look good in front of the cool kids that rejected him, he was named the third star of the game. I wish he could have gotten that win and felt that vindication, but as we are horrible, things did not turn out that way.

4. Brad Notalent Stuart: In case no one remembers when we beat the Red Wings 5-3 last year (in Detroit), Brad Stuart scored the winning goal and I guess Detroit wanted to make damn sure that would never happen again. Stuart went to Hockeytown, USA and I started to think that maybe there is a God. I have to say that I was never a fan of Brad Stuart and I don't care how impressive his stats are with Detroit, I don't believe he is very talented. The fact that he could play well with Detroit and not L.A. is indicative of how amazing Detroit is, not Stuart. He was always taking stupid penalties and losing the puck in the neutral zone. As long as Detroit has their top guys, it really doesn't matter if fillers like Brad Stuart are there. I wish I could have seen Ivanans stop acting like my grandmother (dead) and hit Brad Stuart.

In summation, this was so much more than a game. This was showing us where their hours of practice time took them, and how far they still need to go. Both areas are frustrating because of how impatient I am and how long it is going to take to get to playoff contention, let alone Stanley Cup hopes.

This is the measurement of what it takes to have the opportunity to hoist the Stanley Cup. This is the team that we have to eventually learn to become. These are the people that dominate the NHL. It's pretty cool that we squeezed a point out of them, I guess.

October 24, 2008: Blues 0, Kings 4

Babs got the shutout after Murray clearly had to tell the Kings that a game has 60 minutes in it*. I had no clue that this was only Jason's 3rd career shutout. He has played in 79 games and has recorded 3 shutouts. That is a stat that I think could be greatly improved.Before this game, Babs and Iceberg were tied in the amount of shutouts that they had tallied. Jason had 64 more games played than Erik. I am not saying or implying anything; I just laid out the facts for you to decode as you feel.

*Sources (my imagination) say that the Kings were under the impression that the second period was some sort of mid-game interactive warm up.

I just wish that the Kings could play every game like that. What they were doing was nothing extremely spectacular that they couldn't reproduce every night; they played basic, textbook hockey. It is not a level of competitiveness that would take them to the Stanley Cup, but I think that if they played like that, they could at least get to the playoffs- I would say round two. Well enough with the 'shoulda, coulda, eastwooda'; we all know that they are going to play like that once a month (maybe).

I would prefer to not really delve into the details and chose to just let it be what it was: a good game. Since all that I force to read this are not hockey fans, I am sure that it will be positively received.


So just some quick notes:

-Kyle Quincey scored his first goal in a Kings uniform, which turned out to be the game winning goal at 12:21 into the first period.

-The backup goalie for St. Louis is a tall, lanky guy. He is posted as 6'7'' and 205, being the tallest goalie in NHL history. He has the height of Los Angeles' own Brian Boyle but about 47 pounds lighter. Brian Boyle is not at all fat; he looks to be at a good muscle build for his height, and to take 47 pounds off of that would look kinda lanky, almost scrawny. He is Chris Pronger with an extra inch (of vertical height...haha. I could not have been the only one thinking that.) and nine pounds less, the problem is that to get that perspective you have to envision Chris Pronger. Sorry.

- This was the first shut out of the Blues since November 7, 1995.

- Legace sustained a knee injury from slipping on a carpet on the ice before the first period. Douche.

- O'Sullivan is on his fourth game in an ongoing point streak. Last time the Blues and O'Sullivan had met (February 21, 2008) he had a 5 point night.

- Dustin Brown has had six points in six games. One of the six game, he went pointless due it our being shutout.

- The Kings remain one of only two teams to be perfect on the penalty kill. The Kings have killed 27/27 while the Minnesota Wild have been shorthanded 10 occasions less (17). Buffalo was one of the teams to be 100% but had their perfection broken by none other than the Minnesota Wild on their 34th penalty kill during the game on October 1, 2008.

- Tomorrow, all 30 NHL teams are scheduled to play.

- Anze Kopitar has proven that even he cannot make Kyle Calder good.

This is how I don't delve.