Just a Little Halloween Brouhaha

LAKings.com has a story in which some of the Kings players' share their favorite Halloween costumes from the past or what they plan on dressing up as for today. I thought it would be fun to (almost) completely disregard what they said and create costume ideas for them.

I first off must pay homage to Jack Johnson. He mentioned a year in which his brother was Winnie the Pooh and he matched it with a Tigger costume. The thought of how cute that must have been makes yawning baby panda bears say "Aww..."

I have chosen to assign costumes to a select few. The select few that I care about or dislike enough to put thought into.

Jack Johnson: Tigger; I need to see that

Patrick O'Sullivan: Brian O'Connor from Goosebumps: The Perfect School

Main reason being actually looking like the character.

Dustin Brown: Baby New Year. I really don't think that I need to explain myself.

Anze Kopitar: He says that he has a Dustin Brown jersey and is going as the Captain himself. I like that idea. Apparently they are going to be each other, but not in this blog. Dustin, you will be in diaper and top hat at once!

Game time is as good a time as any to be brainstorming Halloween costumes.

Wayne Simmonds: Wesley Snipes from Blade. I am hoping that if he stays in character long enough, he will draw a line in the ice and anyone who tries to pass it will get pummeled to the ground.

Alexander Frolov: A rabbit. I would love to see him laughing at himself with a little painted on nose saying, "Eyem a raybbit."

Michal Handzus: He said that he had no favorite costume, that October 31 is just another day for him. I will not assign a costume for him. I just want to paint the picture of him at home (Daniel Day Lewis' house in There Will be Blood) by a fireplace in a red satin smoking robe. He has a Calabash pipe and is reading Finnegan's Wake. Like a pre-mortem Crypt Keeper.

Oscar Moller: He admitted that he was thinking of being Batman. Go with that thought, Ozzy. It is the part you were born to play. The old school Batman too, no chest plate or anything; I'm talking leotard and spandex. This should provide an amazing mental picture.

John Zeiler: He said that he wore a banana suit one year. I really think that he is the only person that is enough of a douche bag for that to be 100% completely suitable without looking like the person is trying too hard to be funny.

Psst...we can see your balls.

Erik Ersberg: Peach, the Princess from Super Mario.

Brian Boyle: Godzilla.

Kyle Calder/Tom Preissing: Tampon and Maxi Pad. I don't care which is which.

No Tricks, No Treats, Just a Loss: Kings 0, Luongo 4

So the whole "Hey, it's a day before Halloween" thing got a little tired before and during the game. It was the same things playing on the Jumbotron with the exception of a few "scary" (cheap) graphics of bats, spiders, ghosts and Derek Armstrong.

OK there were a couple tricks, if you know what I mean. ZING!

*Simmonds knows what I mean.

I honestly don't know what the Kings were doing out there. They really had no significant plays that were made; they had a few scoring chances that were evaporated by either the team's lack of speed or the fact that the puck was closest to Gauthier. Even though the Kings out shot Vancouver, they did not have as many scoring chances. The Kings outhit Vancouver but L.A. was the group dragging their heels. For that reason, this game can definitely not be summed up with numbers and percentages. The only real percentage that tells a story is Babs' save percentage. He just did not look good. There were times when the entire crowd was reacting faster than he was, he was out of the crease too often for his skill level and just couldn't find the puck.

Mason Raymond successfully faked out Oscar Moller to score the second Vancouver goal. I like the way Moller is playing, and I think that if he were to be sent back down to Juniors, it is based purely on the penny-pinching ways of Dean Lombardi and his want for no time to be wasted in Moller's entry-level contract. It would be easy to pick apart his game tonight, but he was making mistakes that eventually disappear with experience. As Billy Joel says of "The Entertainer", "The things I did not know at first, I learned by doing twice."

I don't know if the decision to put Brown, Patty O and Kopi on one line was such a good one. I liked the Patty O, Stoll, Moller line. It just seemed to work. The job of filling the void and giving Kopitar breathing room has been up for grabs with no solid fit. The problem with Kopitar is that he was fairly unknown before this year. He was a huge name in L.A. and a promising up-and-comer in the NHL, but he was not an obvious target like Shiny and Sparkly (Crosby and Ovechkin) or the biggest little wave like Patrick "Prepubescent" Kane; Anze Kopitar was L.A.'s best kept secret. Not to say that coach's weren't aware of his talent before, but they probably didn't think that he was a big enough threat to make him a specific target. Now that he is a recognized face, he has to learn how to take his game to the next level (how cliche) and learn how to distinguish when people are going to be after him as well as how to get around or avoid that completely.

Maybe avoid a little of this...

Last year, fans had something to say about how little Kopitar did on the defensive side of things. I would have liked to see that, but with everything else wrong with the team, Kopitar was no where near one of my main focuses. Now that it is about fine tuning everything and cutting away unnecessary bits to make room for what is direly needed on the team, it is clear that Kopitar could use some defensive skills. He is not expected to be Dion Phaneuf; no one wants him on defense, it would just be nice if he could defend himself though. With all of the pressure that is put on him every time he has the puck, he needs to learn how to deal with it and give himself room to make plays by pushing back and not getting trapped into a corner. I think that if anything, the pressure that Vancouver put on the puck holders should be a great guide to map escape routes for the puck in pressured situations so that they can get a quality shot off. Wow, a nice sportsmanlike review*.

Suck it, Vancouver!!!

*Dammit, so close...

Deep Emotional Trauma: Kings 3, Detroit 4 SO, Gauthier Dead

Stanley Cup Champions. Technically not last place*. Detroit fans. Kings fans.

*I say technically because Tampa and Los Angeles were tied for 30th last season, but we had one more win than they did. So we are technically not the biggest losers.

I don't know why I got so heated after this game, but I did. I was so angry I couldn't see straight. I wanted to punch a baby (a really young and defenseless one, not those smart ass toddlers). I wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of every panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all of the French beaches I'd never see.*

*Fight Club quotes....

The worst possible thing that I had heard immediately after the game, when I was most peeved (yes, peeved)? "It's just a game." Its just a game? Don't give me that cliche, pep-talk shit. Had we won, those words would not dare be uttered. It is not just a game.

This is the measurement of what it takes to have the opportunity to hoist the Stanley Cup. This is the team that we have to eventually learn to become. These are the people that dominate the NHL.

After having opened the floodgates of encouraging words from Dean Lombardi, Terry Murray, Dustin Brown, Jason LaBarbara*, Anze Kopitar, and Drew Doughty about how this team is going in the right direction, it is crushing to see how far away we are. I was obviously not expecting to see Stanley Cup-esk improvements over one long summer, but I would like the bull shit to be kept at a minimum. It is not necessary to pump the fans full of delusions of grandeur; we have stuck through it this far and are not going anywhere soon; and L.A. has such bandwagon fans, you are not going to attract any attention unless you start winning some games. So while we are still nowhere near positive thinking, don't give us the impression that we are.

*Hah!

There are a couple of things in particular about the game that sting with just the thought of:

1. Riding the Crimson wave: I was well aware that they were coming, and they were coming in flocks as far as the eye could see. I felt bad that the Kings could not rely on the support of the crowd, especially since they are so young and fragile. The nail in the camel's coffin, though? The chick right behind me. She was a Detroit fan because her boyfriend was, and I am pretty sure that they weren't dating before last year because the only names that she knew were Zetterberg and Datsyuk. In a screeching voice, she would shout out "c'mon red wIIIIIIngs." "c'mon zetter-burgh." That was it. I don't think that the change in spelling did this chick's annoyance justice. She added this redneck 'ur' sound to Zetterberg's name. For one thing, females should not yell at games if they aren't going to deepen their voices because it gets to the ears like a fire alarm. If you turn your head a little it's OK, but you pivot it slightly and it rings the eardrums like a Notre Dame bell. Plus, I always envied how easy it was to be a Detroit fan; never having to say things like "Shoot the puck!", "What are you doing?" or "Why is Willsie out there?"

2. Maybe?: Possibly the worst thing about the game was that I was mentally prepared to lose. I went in there and for a while I was just a spectator to the wonders of Detroit's play. It wasn't until there were about 8 minutes left in that game and we were up by one that I thought "Hey, we could...I mean, theoretically speaking...win this." My blood was pumping. I was thinking about how I was going to see the replay of this when I got home. I was thinking about how amazing it is going to be to see that chick's disappointed face along with hundreds of others. I was thinking about how I would title this to be a play on words with David and Goliath, I was thinking about little Kyle Quincey's heart swelling with joy to defeat the team that had believed him to be unnecessary. Then, about 2 minutes before all wishes that day were to come true, I was thinking about how I wanted to see Gautheir's head on a stick. I was thinking about how I loathed the Kings offense for shutting down, about that 5-on-3 (or as I like to call it, Certain Death), about how much I wanted Armstrong and Greene to have cut the crap with words and finally let L.A. fist meet Detroit face, and I was thinking that if this went to a shootout, I would throw myself from the third tier of Staples Center. As it went to the shootout I, in true L.A. fashion, didn't follow through on my promises.

3. Matlock: My heart ached for Kyle Quincey. He played with a chip on his shoulder that could be seen through his form-fitted, aerodynamic Rbk jersey. He earned an assist that night and, out of pity and a sad attempt to make him look good in front of the cool kids that rejected him, he was named the third star of the game. I wish he could have gotten that win and felt that vindication, but as we are horrible, things did not turn out that way.

4. Brad Notalent Stuart: In case no one remembers when we beat the Red Wings 5-3 last year (in Detroit), Brad Stuart scored the winning goal and I guess Detroit wanted to make damn sure that would never happen again. Stuart went to Hockeytown, USA and I started to think that maybe there is a God. I have to say that I was never a fan of Brad Stuart and I don't care how impressive his stats are with Detroit, I don't believe he is very talented. The fact that he could play well with Detroit and not L.A. is indicative of how amazing Detroit is, not Stuart. He was always taking stupid penalties and losing the puck in the neutral zone. As long as Detroit has their top guys, it really doesn't matter if fillers like Brad Stuart are there. I wish I could have seen Ivanans stop acting like my grandmother (dead) and hit Brad Stuart.

In summation, this was so much more than a game. This was showing us where their hours of practice time took them, and how far they still need to go. Both areas are frustrating because of how impatient I am and how long it is going to take to get to playoff contention, let alone Stanley Cup hopes.

This is the measurement of what it takes to have the opportunity to hoist the Stanley Cup. This is the team that we have to eventually learn to become. These are the people that dominate the NHL. It's pretty cool that we squeezed a point out of them, I guess.

October 24, 2008: Blues 0, Kings 4

Babs got the shutout after Murray clearly had to tell the Kings that a game has 60 minutes in it*. I had no clue that this was only Jason's 3rd career shutout. He has played in 79 games and has recorded 3 shutouts. That is a stat that I think could be greatly improved.Before this game, Babs and Iceberg were tied in the amount of shutouts that they had tallied. Jason had 64 more games played than Erik. I am not saying or implying anything; I just laid out the facts for you to decode as you feel.

*Sources (my imagination) say that the Kings were under the impression that the second period was some sort of mid-game interactive warm up.

I just wish that the Kings could play every game like that. What they were doing was nothing extremely spectacular that they couldn't reproduce every night; they played basic, textbook hockey. It is not a level of competitiveness that would take them to the Stanley Cup, but I think that if they played like that, they could at least get to the playoffs- I would say round two. Well enough with the 'shoulda, coulda, eastwooda'; we all know that they are going to play like that once a month (maybe).

I would prefer to not really delve into the details and chose to just let it be what it was: a good game. Since all that I force to read this are not hockey fans, I am sure that it will be positively received.


So just some quick notes:

-Kyle Quincey scored his first goal in a Kings uniform, which turned out to be the game winning goal at 12:21 into the first period.

-The backup goalie for St. Louis is a tall, lanky guy. He is posted as 6'7'' and 205, being the tallest goalie in NHL history. He has the height of Los Angeles' own Brian Boyle but about 47 pounds lighter. Brian Boyle is not at all fat; he looks to be at a good muscle build for his height, and to take 47 pounds off of that would look kinda lanky, almost scrawny. He is Chris Pronger with an extra inch (of vertical height...haha. I could not have been the only one thinking that.) and nine pounds less, the problem is that to get that perspective you have to envision Chris Pronger. Sorry.

- This was the first shut out of the Blues since November 7, 1995.

- Legace sustained a knee injury from slipping on a carpet on the ice before the first period. Douche.

- O'Sullivan is on his fourth game in an ongoing point streak. Last time the Blues and O'Sullivan had met (February 21, 2008) he had a 5 point night.

- Dustin Brown has had six points in six games. One of the six game, he went pointless due it our being shutout.

- The Kings remain one of only two teams to be perfect on the penalty kill. The Kings have killed 27/27 while the Minnesota Wild have been shorthanded 10 occasions less (17). Buffalo was one of the teams to be 100% but had their perfection broken by none other than the Minnesota Wild on their 34th penalty kill during the game on October 1, 2008.

- Tomorrow, all 30 NHL teams are scheduled to play.

- Anze Kopitar has proven that even he cannot make Kyle Calder good.

This is how I don't delve.

L.A. Kings: Making the Mundane a Priority

The two most uninteresting Kings* in the system right now are being put front and center for all the world to see. Upon closer inspection, I have come to realize that I no longer think they are boring, I actually strongly dislike them now.
*people

Kyle Calder
In the Kings' notebook for today, October 22nd, there is a picture of Kyle Calder and his stupid face; next to that is the title reading "Calder in, Moulson out?" The story is that after playing 10:04 in the 3-1 loss in San Jose, he was a healthy scratch because he lacked a pep in his step that he is known for (at least he still has his trademark soul patch) ergo, there was no reason to have him in the line up. When first hearing this, some would think "Hmm...is he going to replace Richardson. That line is really unstable. First Boyle proved that he was not ready to play, and now Richardson is not proving effective; this fourth line is a mess." Never fear, Calder will not add to the fourth line woes; it seems that Murray thinks that he would be the absolute perfect person to replace Moulson- on the top line with Kopitar and Brown. I don't know how a "jump in his step" takes him from Handzus and Simmonds to Kopitar and Brown.

Just as a minor refresher, Calder only played in the opening game is San Jose. He was on the ice for a total of 12 shifts; 10 minutes and 4 seconds. I wonder what he did while he played for a sixth of the game? Hmm...

Period 1:
13:44 Shot on goal; tip in. Stopped.

Period 2:
02:59 Took a hit by Clowe

Period 3 (this is where he gets active):
01:03 Watched Pavelski score with Cheechoo and Michalek assissting. (on ice)
12:46 Had a shot blocked by Boyle of SJ


Fit to be a Kings my ass. In 12 shifts, 10 minutes and 4 seconds, the only thing that Kyle Calder earned was a -1. How that translates into "give him even more ice time": the world may never know.

Tom Preissing
Terry Murray called Tom Preissing (a girl) on Monday to let him know that he was not the biggest fan of the way he played in the game against Colorado; Tom agreed*. Murray made the decision to replace Preissing with Harrold. I don't think that Harrold is the most impressive player either, but knowing that with this he is gaining experience while Preissing is being an idiot makes me happy with the decision.
*I don't understand how it is relevant that Preissing agreed with Murray about his criticism on his playing thus far. Is it supposed to show that he is a mature, understanding player? He really doesn't (shouldn't) have the level of security to give him the option of disagreeing. All I am getting from it is that he is aware that he sucks and either has no clue how to change that or has no will to do so- both options sound like his level of douche baggery. I am confident that if it were any other player, I would not be looking into every word he said so much.

Speaking of hanging on Tom Preissing's every word, the second installment of his blog is fresh out of the 'ol block. I have just finished reading it and I have to say that I really was blown away with it. Obviously, being Preissing, it is not going to be Shakespeare, but he was witty and intelligent (just don't look at the grammar or spelling of 'Red Aox') and asked people to send cards to Jack Johnson to make him feel better because he knows how Jack Johnson loves homemade cards, and telling people to vote. So I have to rephrase the whole "strongly dislike them" to saying that I strongly dislike Kyle Calder. Before, I wished that Preissing was a cool guy so that I could have a reason to like him, but just believed him to be a boring and untalented hockey player. Now, I am more wishing that he were talented so that I could have a reason for liking him as much as I do the players with actual skill. Though I will not be rooting for Preissing like I do for Handzus, Moller, O'Sullivan and Simmonds I just may be wishing him luck for a good game*.
*Silently, in my head, of course. One blog is not going to change that damn much.

October 20, 2008: Kings 3, Colorado 4

I don't know what it is about the second period that makes the Kings think that they can just squeeze by and return from a 2-goal deficit ever time. Just once (way more than once) I would like to see them win because they scored first and often and kept the lead. A come-from-behind win is always an amazing thing, but while the Kings are not at the skill level to control the game to that extent, any win will suffice. I particularly hate losing to Colorado, especially if Ryan Smyth is going to tally two goals.

Michal Handzus and Patrick O'Sullivan earn a point each. There were others that earned something or another, but my praise can only be stretched so thin. Moller and Doughty each scored their first goal at that game. I wish that they could look back at their first goals and see a win, but as they are on the Kings that was not the case.

This picture is going to be used a hell of a lot, I can tell.


This one probably not so much, but it is his first NHL goal, and I like the guy.

I will refrain from over-commentating on this subject and will leave it to a question: Jason LaBarbara, three goals in six shots?

Ersberg should have been in net, if anything because he deserved the place of backup goalie, and deserved to show that he could play at the NHL level. It would have at least given Murray hints as to if he wanted to change his mind about the placement of Ersberg. Who knows, maybe Ersberg would not have made the difference, but 16 shots should not lead to a loss.

I don't know if Moller has impressed Murray enough, and if he has not really done so, it will be back to Juniors for him. Moller's age prevents him from going to Manchester, so it is either Juniors or he is with the Kings for the year. This puts Murray in a very difficult position. If he had the attitude of a Robitaille or a Brown, I would say keep him; but if he had the learning ability of a Brian Boyle, be gone to Juniors with him. The only thing that is clear is that Drew Doughty is definitely staying, and it is stupid to think anything different. Your move, Terry Murray.

I love Chewy, but we all know that C3PO would kick an immeasurable amount of ass.

Ken Klee placed on waivers.

Superstar defenseman, Ken Klee, of the Anaheim Ducks has been put on waivers. I am sad about this one. In my Kings-related opinion, he was the John Zeiler of the Anaheim Ducks; he would try, but more often than not things just did not go his way. I have even made a note of him already. Ti's a shame really; I think that Ken Klee (had he been given the entire season) could have been a favorite of mine and really, to have a Kings fan be a fan of anything Ducks related is reason enough to keep him on ship.

Don't cry, Ken. For what it's worth, I never really thought you looked like a Duck anyway.

October 17, 2008: Kings 4, Carolina 3 OT

I am so happy that Zeus is finally breaking out of his shell; you know, that one that locked his knee up? I have been rooting for him since I heard that he was signed. Don't ask me why, but I just like the guy. He seems like a quiet, nice guy that could open up a can of whoop ass if he needed to, but he has not really resorted to violence since his stint in rehab which cleared out his head and calmed him down a lot, now he writes Dylan-esk songs about it in his free time. He just seems like that kind of guy to me. He scored the first and last goal of the game. The best goals of the night. The first goal of the night was amazing because it was a quick goal that no one really saw coming. The assist was from Simmonds, which means that the goal was halfway to perfect; the only way that it could be better were if Moller had a hand in it and the goal occurred during the last minute of the second period (Free McFlurry!). His overtime goal was spectacular. It was not exactly the fanciest move, it was not something that would make any top 10 of October highlight reels, but it got the win and it was so effortless and simple that there was something amazing in that.

Kopitar and Brown had each received their first goals of the season that night. I am relieved that Kopi finally got on the board. He has had 1 goal and 2 assists in these 4 games, but he does not really seem to be playing like he was last year. I am not worried about Brown in the least because he has played tough and well, just like last year. The problem that I have with Kopitar is that I know that he is great, and now that every other team understands that, he is being targeted and is not used to it yet. They have only played four games, and that is hardly enough to decide how everyone is doing, especially since changes to teams are going to be made so we don't even know how everyone else will change, but I am just hoping that these games aren't really indicative of how is will be playing all season. He is sort of just involved in the plays that everyone is making around him. Now, since they have only played four games, I didn't want to imply that Kopitar was, well...

...you know

Moment of Silence Part 4

This is so incredibly late, I don't even remember half of these names, but better late than never. It makes it easy to see who might be brought up in the event that one of the rooks is choking.
The following players have been sent to Manchester or back to Juniors.

Jonathan Bernier
Position: Goaltender.......Catches: Left

Height: 6'0''...........DOB: August 7, 1988 (Age 20)
Weight: 185..........Born: Laval, QC, Canada

Acquired: Drafted 1st round choice, 11th overall in 2006
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Drew Bagnall
Position: Defense........Shoots: Left

Height: 6'3''................DOB: October 26, 1983 (Age 24)
Weight:222................Born: Oakbank, MB, Canada

Acquired: UFA signed 8/23/07 (Dallas); 6th round, 197th overall in 2003
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL



Trevor Lewis
Position: Center..........Shoots: Right

Height: 6'1''...............DOB: January 8, 1987 (Age 21)
Weight: 204..............Born: Salt Lake City, UT, United States

Acquired: Drafted 1st round, 17th overall in 2006
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Justin Azevedo
Position: Center..........Shoots: Right

Height: 5'7''...............DOB: April 1, 1988 (Age 20)
Weight: 180..............Born: St. Thomas, ON, Canada

Acquired: Drafted 6th round, 153rd overall in 2008
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Andrew Campbell
Position: Defense..........Shoots: Left

Height: 6'4''..................DOB: February 4, 1988 (Age 20)
Weight:196..................Born: Caledonia, ON, Canada

Acquired: Drafted 3rd round, 74th overall in 2008
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Paul Crosty
Position: Defense.........Shoots: Left

Height: 6'2''................DOB: October 13, 1982 (Age 26)
Weight: 220...............Born: Edmonton, AB, Canada

Acquired: Signed with Manchester January 17, 2007
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL



Vladimir Dravecky
Position: Right Winger.......Shoots: Left

Height: 6'0''......................DOB: June 3, 1985 (Age 23)
Weight: 196.....................Born: Kosice, Slovak Republic

Acquired: Signed May 31, 2007 as UFA
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Gabe Gauthier
Position: Center................Shoots: Left

Height: 5'9''.....................DOB: January 20, 1984 (Age 24)
Weight: 204....................Born: Torrance, CA, United States

Acquired: Signed as UFA July 12, 2006
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Bud Holloway
Position: Left Wing..........Shoots: Right

Height: 6'1''..................DOB: March 1, 1988 (Age 20)
Weight: 196.................Born: Wapella, SK, Canada

Acquired: Drafted 3rd round, 86th overall in 2006
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Josh Kidd
Position: Defense.......................Shoots: Right

Height: 6'4''..........................DOB: November 16, 1988 (Age 19)
Weight: 219.........................Born: Sundridge, ON, Canada

Acquired: Drafted 7th round, chosen 184th overall in 2007
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Brady Murray
Position: Left Wing.................Shoots: Left

Height: 5'10''....................DOB: August 17, 1984 (Age 24)
Weight: 185.....................Born: Brandon, MB, Canada

Acquired: Drafted 5th round, 152nd overall in 2003
Returning to: HC Lugano, NLA


Marty Murray
Position: Center..............Shoots: Left

Height: 5'9''.................DOB: February 16, 1985 (Age 33)
Weight: 180................Born: Deloraine, MB, Canada

Acquired:Off waivers November 11, 2006 (Flyers); Drafted 96th overall by Calgary in 1993
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL




Scott Parse
Position: Right Wing..........Shoots: Right

Height: 6'0''..............DOB: September 5, 1984 (Age 24)
Weight: 193.............Born: Kalamazoo, MI, United States

Acquired: Drafted 6th round, 174th overall in 2004
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Daniel Taylor
Position: Goaltender............Catches: Left

Height: 6'0''.......................DOB: April 28, 1986 (Age 22)
Weight: 198......................Born: Plymouth, United Kingdom

Acquired: Drafted 7th round, 221st overall in 2004
Returning to: Reading Royals, ECHL


Eric Werner
Position: Defense............Shoots: Right

Height: 5'10''..............DOB: January 26, 1983 (Age 25)
Weight: 185...............Born: Grosse Pointe Woods, MI, United States

Acquired: Signed one-year deals with the Monarchs since September 1, 2005
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL



Jeff Zatkoff
Position: Goaltender...........Catches: Left

Height: 6'2''......................DOB: June 9, 1987 (Age 21)
Weight: 170.....................Born: Detroit, MI, United States

Acquired: Drafted 3rd round, 74th overall in 2006
Returning to: Ontario Reign, ECHL


Mike D'Orazio
Position: Defense...........Shoots: Right

Height: 6'1''.................DOB: August 16, 1990 (Age 18)
Weight: 211................Born: Richmond Hill, ON, Canada

Acquired: Klendathu
Returning to: Owen Sound Attack, OHL


Alec Martinez
Position: Defense..............Shoots: Left

Height: 6'1''......................DOB: July 26, 1987 (Age 21)
Weight: 214.....................Born: Rochester Hills, MI, United States

Acquired: Drafted 4th round, 95th overall in 2007
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Ted Purcell
Position: Right Wing..............Shoots: Right

Height: 6'3''........................DOB: September 8, 1985 (Age 23)
Weight: 202.......................Born: St. John's, NL, Canada

Acquired: Signed UFA April 27th, 2007
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Jonathan Quick
Position: Goaltender.................Catches: Left

Height: 6'1''....................DOB: January 21, 1986 (Age 22)
Weight: 216...................Born: Milford, CT, United States

Acquired: Drafted 3rd round, 72nd overall in 2005
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Kevin Westgarth
Position: Center.................Shoots: Right

Height: 6'5''..................DOB: February 7, 1984 (Age 24)
Weight: 241.................Born: Amherst, ON, Canada

Acquired: Signed as UFA March 16, 2007
Returning to: Manchester Monarchs, AHL


Thomas Hickey
Position: Defenseman................Shoots: Left

Height: 6'0''........................DOB: February 8, 1989 (Age 19)
Weight: 191.......................Born: Calgary, AB, Canada

Acquired: Drafted 1st round, 4th overall in 2007
Returning to: Seattle Thunderbirds, WHL


I am finally done. You don't know how long this took. Come to think of it, neither do I. What day is it? Did we play Edmonton already? Is Patty O still signed? Preissing is off the team, right?

Whatever the case may be: a moment of silence to the memories of all those we have lost along the way to the regular season, especially Purcell who was undercut by Boyle. Don't cry guys, you look like wimps already, and you'll probably break the lineup; a few of you will, most of you will just have a story to tell around the water cooler in 10 years when you are working at AEG.

I'm off to pass out....

Johnson Out; Quincey Aquired; Greene Extended

Jack Johnson suffered a partial tear of the labrum in his left shoulder* after a partial hit to the shoulder he took in Sunday's game while reaching for a midair puck. He had surgery on it Tuesday and will be out 2-3 months. Harrold stepped into his place in the 6-3 win over the Ducks on Tuesday. Believe me, Harrold and the win were completely coincidental; he was not looking very good on the ice.

*Fully broken labrum. Don't act like you knew what it was...

Kyle Quincey was claimed off of waivers from the Detroit Red Wings. He is 23 with 13 games under his belt. I won't look at his numbers because (I don't have a magnifying glass) with Detroit, he would have to be incredible to make the line up; let's face it, if he were incredible, we would not be talking about him. He brought his wallet-busting $525,000 contract with him to L.A. to stay with close friend Patty O. They apparently live 20 minutes from each other and is one of Patty's (previously) non-King best friends. Of course, Patty O had only the most amazing things to say about his style of play. He is set to play opposite Matt Greene in tonight's game against Carolina, giving us a chance to see if Patty O is just an ass-kissing liar or has talented friends. So Kyle comes over to give the Kings 2/3 ownership of all of the players in the league whose names begin with 'Q'. Yes! You'll soften up, Deron Quint.


Matt Greene, alternate captain and apparent firecracker personality, just signed a contract extension that will strap him to the team through the 2013-2014 season, 5 years. The contract is worth $14.75 million, meaning that he will be averaging $2.95 million per season. I don't see why we would regret this, nothing that I will jinx by saying out loud.

October 14, 2008: Kings 6, Ducks 3

Well someone had to win. Walking into the game, the Kings were 0-2 as well as the Ducks so far. The only thing better than winning is beating the Ducks. Better than beating the Ducks? Knowing that you kept them going on their losing streak.

The game was really good and when we won, Staples Center got to use purple and silver streamers that they had obviously planned in the event that the Kings were to win their opening night game.

I was too happy to see Zeus doing so well, made all the better when Wayne Simmonds made his first NHL goal. He scored the first goal of the night and according to Terry Murray, he set the tone for the team. It is a good and bad thing for the Kings (like everything else); I like that Wayne Simmonds has the capability to light a fire under their asses, but I don't like that we should need that. It really shows that they take every goal to heart. When they are scored against, the entire mood of the team goes to crap. It's cliche to say, but they really need to ignore the scoreboard because it's getting into their heads too much.

On to lighter news, Patty O was a machine after a goal that he scored. After scoring it, the next shift out he was taking shot after shot, skating like he was running from the fires of hell, and taking out Ducks like he had some emotional scarring from that dog that laughs at you when you miss. Really, what could have made this game better? Oh yea, maybe a free McFlurry! Thank you Mr. Jarret Stoll.

So far, the Kings are perfect on the penalty kill and it's a comforting thing to see; and holy crap, I can't say enough good things about Doughty. He lost a puck but other than that, he has been a fierce defender that knows how to cover the net like a mutha. I would like to see Ivanans actually fight, in stead of just shadowboxing all the damn time, but he's Latvian so I can't say anything against him*. I will hold back on the Kopitar comments until after tonight's game. The offense so far (in the season) is a little slow but I am glad that they worked on defense. I also like how level-headed Murray is, how confident he was in LaBarbara not letting too many goals in.
*Seriously, I just don't know any Latvian jokes or stereotypes.

Not much to say. Got a win, got ice cream, got to see Wayne make his first NHL goal, and unfortunately got to hear Avril Lavigne while walking out of Staples Center (fuck you, Nokia).

October 12, 2008: Opening night: Kings 0, Sharks 1

It's late to be commenting on Opening Night, and to be honest, I would have probably just skipped it, but writing it down makes it easier to comment on players and the team in general later on in the season or in seasons to come. It separates the games so that they don't all smear together in my memory.

I don't really have much to say. I was so pissed off that everyone got excited and let down twice. I am also pissed that Johnson got hurt in his first damn game at home. Asshole...

He got hit in the shoulder by Grier. I never have particularly liked Grier, and this doesn't help him in my book*. Earlier in the game, he put his hand on top of Priessing's head and calmly led him away from the path to the San Jose net. Pricey wasn't getting the puck, he was not going to get it any time soon, and even if he did, there was no possible way for him to score; I just don't like how Grier looked like a parent leading their kid around. It was very belittling and I am too proud for that kind of crap.
*I have a book of people that I hate, to help keep track. The order differs periodically.

There was also a moment in the first period of the game when Patty O held back from checking Rob Blake. He just passed the puck, so there is nothing wrong with him not following through, I just have a feeling that he would not have held back the reigns had the player not been Blake. I don't really know what to make of it. He would have looked stupid and emotional if he had don it, but most of me just really wanted to see Blake get hit.

Little side note: I really could care less how many goals or points Preissing gets this season, I just don't like him; he is boring and stupid. I have proof.

Kopitar signed

Anze Kopitar. 6 feet, 3 inches. 219 pounds. 82 games, 32 goals, 45 assists. 77 points.

Man.

Myth.

Legend.

He signed a 7 year contract worth $47.6 million. This season he will get $765,000 which will finish up his previous contract. Next year and through the 2015-16 season he will get and average of $6.8 million. It will be a gradual increase, so he will not have one price each season, but in the end he is getting $47.6 million and that is the big picture.

We have Brown and Kopitar locked up for six years each. O'Sullivan is in it for three.

In three years, the Kings will have invested about 37 million dollars into the Sully-Kopi-Brown line. I hope that it pays off before Patty O is looking for a raise.

Woke up feeling a little bloggy

Tom Preissing
That's right. The most uninteresting King (along with Kyle Calder) has his own blog. There are pictures that he clearly didn't do the commentary on because of the third person use. He writes about getting married and having a petting zoo there which featured pygmy goats. His nephew loved them! I am getting a headache just summarizing it, how did that douche think that anyone would want to read about this? Hey, Pricey, O'Sullivan was there. Why don't you talk about him and his contract or LaBarbara and his ever popularized weight loss or Army and why he wears Crocs or J.S. Aubin and why the hell he is there. He mentions his wife being pregnant* and their honeymoon in Hawaii (how original).
*Wait... if your wife is the pregnant one, who has the balls in that relationship?

What I like is that he mentions his child and how he feels about the new journey, then goes along to say that he won't "divulge" too much information. We will have to wait because we will know "when the world knows." The world will know when the world cares; this will happen when his son follows in his father's footsteps and plays hockey (and fails). I hate when people assume that they matter.

Marc Crawford
I would rather read Crow's blog three times over than whatever the hell Tom Preissing thinks is important. Every once in a while he will make statements that Kings fans can enjoy. Pathetic little remarks like "had I done....I would probably still have my job" or "I remember in Los Angeles..." are things that make me smile. I can smile with him or at him now that he is no longer digging us into the sewer line below a grave. Once business is taken out of the relationship, it can be light-hearted and fun. Good for you Marc Crawford, but you are still eating through our money like a Cloutier*.
*What ever happened to that guy?

October 11, 2008: Sharks 3, Kings 1

I was watching this game with a couple of friends that I am trying to turn into hockey fans. They aren't budging, so I would periodically spit out a random bit of information. "We beat them 3 out of 4 times at home last year." "Sharks are tied with having the longest losing streak in NHL history." "Rob Blake is a tool."

After the first goal, I felt like I cut open a box a cereal and got high off of Life. I then added that I hoped they would not repeat last year because of all the "first goal of the game" leads that they threw away.

By the third period, people cleared the room as I yelled profanities at the t.v. screen. "C'mon guys, what the fuck are you doing? Is LaBarbera the only defenseman out there?"

I realize that the calls were pretty ridiculous and that half of the time we were trying to kill a penalty. That is the one bit of positive criticism that I have for them. I liked how they killed all of the power plays. A little part of me smiled inside while the rest of me seethed with anger, knowing that Blake was smiling just as much, if not more.

Shots on goal were Cammalleri versus Ivanans. That's 13 to 41 for those of you that are late to arrive on the clever train.

Winning goalie: Evgeni Nabokov
Losing goalie: Jason Labarbara

Stars of the game:
1. SJS Marc-Edouard Vlasic
2. SJS Christian Ehrhoff
3. SJS Tomas Plihal

San Jose: 6 points (3-0-0)
Los Angeles: 0 points (0-2-0)

Start from the beginning and backtrack from there.

I have been putting off updating everything like games and the next part in the Moment of Silence sequence and all of that bull crap. So much has happened that I just felt overwhelmed and did nothing. I will start with the first game against San Jose. Ah, I don't even want to remember that the next couple of days existed.

The Kings' new Picard

I think this was a really good move in more ways than strictly hockey-related. In terms of who was the better option, Brown was the right choice all around. In terms of business and trying to increase their fan base, I think this was a really smart move by the Kings.

People in the U.S. are very self-centered when it comes to sports. The reason hockey is not really a huge sport is simply because of the foreign imports in the game. The general U.S. population doesn't want to watch a Viatcheslav Voynov or a Vladimir Dravecky (they don't want to watch a Vladimir anything), they want to see the Jack Johnsons and Dustin Browns of the league. They want someone that they can relate to. When I say "someone to relate to" I don't mean someone with a difficult upbringing or a single mom, I mean someone American.

It's no secret that the popularity of sports depend on the heritage of the players; it is proven in the popularity of sports like football and baseball as well as the dislike of soccer and hockey. With the naming of Dustin Brown as captain, I think it will draw a lot of focus to the Kings and their organization. It gives them something to root for, now all we have to do is get them to win and we have a done deal.

I think that instead of Matt Greene named as one of the alternates, I think that Johnson should have gotten that slot; we could have used this as an ad campaign poster:

I wish this never existed.

Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.

Woah there, cowboy, you can't take credit for this one...

Yes, it's true. Patrick O'Sullivan is officially stuck with us for another three years. He signed a three year contract that gives him 2.925 million per season except this one. He gets a little extra this season in order for the Kings to reach the cap floor. After this stretch with the Kings, he will be an unrestricted free agent and is free to just leave us. After all we did for him.

I was trying to get them to spell 'Patty O'

There is a sweet little interview with him wherein he talks about getting back into hockey season mode, etc. Then he goes on to talk about meeting all of the new players and the coach, too. I completely forgot about that. He hasn't even met the coach. It wouldn't be as bad if opening game weren't a butterfly kiss away.

I also think it's sad that he missed out on so much. Not just in relation to practicing, but in relation to meeting the new guys and creating an off-ice bond. Now he is going to stroll into practice and they are going to welcome him back, but they will be given directions that he won't understand and they will have their inside jokes that he can't laugh at; it will be explained to him but that just makes room for an awkward period of silence after that*.
*Deja Vu

Fake laugh.

Now is all but not the time to dwell on the crap that Lombardi created. It's time to celebrate! We have reached the cap floor, Patty O is signed, and John Zeiler will not be the 23rd player on the Kings' roster, and we did it all at the buzzer; who could be sad at a time like this?

Even Simmonds is happy to hear that O'Sullivan is returning. You ever been to New Hampshire, Wayne?

Private eyes

(clap) they're watching you (clap, clap) they see your every move.

On to a less Hall and Oates-y topic, LAKings.com is clearly trying to throw me off their scent. I had previously posted about how much they* are linking Kopitar's name with words like 'lead' and 'playoffs' and 'ready' and 'surfing' (I can only imagine how hard the reporter had to fake being interested). I guess that the story-writers and whodunnitz over at LAKings.com had to cover their trail by showing even amounts of attention for all of the candidates for captaincy. A story was released about Brown and how he 'matured' and is 'ready to lead'.

*who?

Or it's just obvious that Armstrong will never be captain.