John Zeiler suspended

What what what?

At 6:51 of the second period, John Zeiler delivered a hit to Adam Foote. From what I had seen of the hit, it seemed innocent enough. After a previous Colorado player on the ice and waiting for a stretcher to make an appearance before getting to his feet, I thought of it as a "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" type of thing so I didn't buy into it. I guess that it was pretty bad? I don't know. If I were Foote, I wouldn't admit that Zeiler had injured me in any way. That's just embarrassing.

It seems that most people find the need to cover this. I guess it is because of the pulling back of the reigns when it come to the dirty plays in the NHL. I will still stick by my guns and refuse to accept that it was an intentional blow to the head, or that it was a dirty hit. I will instead just have it boil down to "shit happens."

There are a few points of this story that I happen to find hilarious. Lappy was quoted saying, "I kind of knew it wasn’t a clean hit because (Zeiler) is known for that. He did that last year, checking guys from behind and stuff like that."
Really? I didn't even know that Zeiler is known for anything let alone being known for his dirty play. Half the time his checks end up with his own ass on the ice.

When asked about the situation Foote said, “I think what happens in (Zeiler’s) situation is you’re hungry, you want to make the club and you’ll do whatever it takes. In his position, his job is to get hits and stuff like that. At the same time, though, you’ve got to know when someone is in a vulnerable situation.”

Does this honestly look like the face of someone that computes the angle to which the player he is checking will fall? I don't even think he could understand what I just said.

I am pretty pissed that, as a result of his hit, Foote will not be able to play in Colorado's game against Anaheim. Nice one, douche bag. Colorado sucks enough as it is, no need to further help Anaheim out.

So Fresh and So Clean Clean

4-3 loss in the shootout. I don't want to talk about it.

So the Kings have unveiled their new third jersey, and eh. It is not the worst of the third jerseys to be unveiled this year (seriously Atlanta, what the hell?) but it is nowhere near the best (you go, Buffalo!) so it just ends up in this weird purgatory. While the helmet and socks are a nice taste of the most beloved of Kings eras, the logo looks like a traffic sign and the players' names and numbers should have been changed to a different text. I just find it hard to believe that with all of the inspiration that L.A. has to offer as well as the term "King", somehow designers thought this was the perfect logo to epitomize all of that.

I would have to say that the helmets were the best part of it all. Noticeable during warm-ups.

Looks good in motion.

With where that logo is pointing, they should bring back "We play for L.A."

There is mixed debate over whether to hate the new look or even care. If they had won the game, I might warm up to a little more, but for now it is a constant reminder that I hate losing to Colorado but the team seems to love it. Whatever, no expectations this season, right? Ever since Smyth took a stab at Babs, I have never really respected them or the majority of the Kings, mostly because Babs' first game back after being stabbed was against Colorado and the team hung him out to dry. How fucked up, right?

In any case, the hype that was blown up about this jersey seemed to do marketing good because it was a sell out with a capital "sell out." I hated the fans that were there; most of them were stupid frat boys and sorority girls from Tappa Kegga or something. Why Kings, why? How could you sell out? How about being selective about the fans that you are attracting next time, you ticket whores.

I don't know, maybe it was a good idea that stupid people were there, it was a stupid game filled with stupid fakers on and off the ice. Stupid stupid stupid.

The Habs and Hab Nots

If you happened to stop by to vote for the players to appear in the 2009 NHL All-Star game, you will notice that not only are the Kings' numbers absurdly tiny, but it seems that the entire starting lineup for the Eastern Conference will be comprised of Montreal Canadiens.

"But wait, is the game not to be held in Montreal this year? It may be rambunctious fans voting often to see such a monumental event as to have all six players of the starting lineup to be from one team; it does not seem so odd given that it is Montreal."

Why yes, I suppose that one option could be that Montreal must have a very and truly dedicated fan base that would spend 16-hour shifts at a computer to make sure that every player possible would go. The problem is not in the simple fact, but rather the large numbers that Montreal takes over. The numbers are larger than other, more obvious choices to be voted in. Even Canada finds it suspicious that Kovalev, Koivu and Tanguay are all up and over the 300,000 mark.

(As of Monday, November 24, 2008)
Forwards
Kovalev, Alex: 314,063
Koivu, Sakku: 311,114
Tanguay, Alex: 307,666
Crosby, Sydney: 228,662
Malkin, Evgeni: 186,565
Ovechkin, Alex: 142,223
Semin, Alex: 90,941

Defensemen
Markov, Andrei: 349,824
Komisarek, Mike: 313,718
Chara, Zdeno: 139,293
Gonchar, Sergei: 127,921
Green, Mike: 124,421*
Whitney, Ryan: 110,518
Numminen, Teppo: 64,494
*That seems most suspicious to me. I don't trust palindromes.

Goalies
Price, Carey: 340,370
Fleurry, Marc-Andre: 141,770
Miller, Ryan: 69,303
Lundqvist, Henrik: 68,390
Thomas, Tim: 41,387

I guess it is just a matter of opinion. Damn right there is an investigation into it. Dirty cheats.

No words. Honestly: Kings 5, Capitals 2, Ovechkin -4

I just got back from the Kings' game and all I can say is Sham-WOW.

What I don't care about:

• I don't care that Alex Semin and Mike Green were scratched.
• I don't care that they played back-to-back.
• I don't care that almost half of our goals were empty netters.
• I don't care that Washington got away with questionable plays.
• I don't care that Ovechkin got a point against us.
• I don't care that Ovechkin had a real bitch check on Kopitar.

What I do care about:

• I love that Ovechkin has never scored a goal against the Kings.
• I love that Brown took the penalty from Ovechkin and then scored the power play goal.
• This is the fourth team that traveled to California and has lost to LA but beat the Ducks.
• Tonight, Alex O was a -4 along with Backstrom.
• Tonight, John MF Zeiler (haha) had a very nice check on Sloan, and he didn't screw anything up.
• In the third period, Doughty stripped Ovechkin of the puck quite nicely.
• Anze Kopitar scored a goal; a shorthanded goal (remember: don't care about the empty net).
• Washington is seventh best in the league in shots for (31.0) and we held them to 21.
• Patrick O'Sullivan scored with a simple beauty of a goal in a "yeah, I belong on the top line" way.
• Drew Doughty scored the first goal of the game. I don't have enough space to bast about him.
• The last time Caps lost in regulation was November 1. Until now that is.
• Matt Green didn't play. I know I said that I didn't care, but I just mean that the win is no less meaningful, but I would have liked to see him play.

This is the best day of my life.

Let's get a few things straight...

Alright, as my computer had gone Hayward* over the past couple of days, I was not able to mention how amazing it was to have a four-game winning streak. Just as I was rearing and ready to go, Kings lose back-to-back games and in following suite to their rhythm in the opening game/night weekend, they only scored one goal. Thanks assholes. I refused to watch any sports highlight show in fear of the whole "scoring on your own empty net" ordeal being brought to surface.

*I don't mean haywire, I mean Hayward; it was acting like a little bitch and refusing to believe that the problems it was going through had nothing to do with its own actions. Hey Hayward! Most penalized team in the league? It's because you guys are assholes, stop blaming it on "marginal calls."

I have never been a fan of Kyle Calder. He is boring, stupid, and Patty O rocks the soul patch much, much better than he does.

Exhibit A

I have thought that Calder had no place on the team. If Armstrong couldn't play than neither could Calder. At least Armstrong isn't afraid to let Mike Ribeiro know when he is pulling a douche bag move like his little motion towards the bench after his shootout extension goal in the November 11th defeat of the Stars.

In any case, I have provided a few lineup suggestions for the Kings that are emotion-based changes; best way to choose a line up, right?

O'Sullivan - Stoll- Brown
Moller - Handzus - Simmonds
Richardson - Kopitar - Moulson/Harrold
Zeiler - Armstrong - Boyle

I can explain:

First of all, I did not account for whether the players shoot right or left because, well, I knew this wasn't going to be taken that seriously and I didn't intend it to.

The first line should be pretty obvious. I think that those players are deserving of top line minutes and with Stoll bringing in his 58.4% faceoff win percentage and super sweet shot to the top line, good things will follow.

The second line would make me completely overjoyed to see. Simmonds and Moller had moments together in the preseason that were discussed in short. Scar commented on it, saying that he just "knew where we was on the ice at all times." I don't know if I should have used quotes because I am just going off of memory here. Handzus is pretty much there to win faceoffs and keep the sexual tension between these two to a minimum.

I hoped that giving Kopitar less pressured ice time would help him with puck impetancy. Don't worry Kop, it happens to everyone once in a while; you'll get through it.


Kopitar is there to inject the lower lines with talent in a Patrick O'Sullivan mannar and I refuse to have a player that we traded a second round pick in next year's draft for to be sitting on the sides as a healthy scratch. I'm talking about you Richardson. I don't care if he has to practice 6 extra hours everyday to not suck so terribly; get his ass on the ice. I put Moulson and Harrold lumped together because I want Harrold to play, but if Moulson is done being scared of scoring than he can return. Moulson and Kopitar are the new O'Sullivan and Brown.

The fourth line is just stupid and I will admit that. I feel bad that Armstrong is a healthy scratch purely because of how long he has been with the team. Well, that and because Calder gets to be on the top line while Armstrong can't even play? I mean, I don't like the guy particularly but that's just not right so I turned the tables and threw Calder out of the lineup*. I threw in Zeiler because he makes me laugh and I want to have a reason to be happy if the Kings are going to be this inconsistant. Lastly, Boyle just kind of ended up in there because I was done and hadn't realized that he was still hanging around; I didn't really hate him enough to replace him si he just stayed where he was.

*or over a building, I can't really recall which.

Defense was not changed because when you score one goal in two games (in two occasions), the least of your worries is defense.

Nov. 4th: One Less Reason to Celebrate; Kings 0, Ducks 1

I am warning you now, this will be a lengthy and (most likely) unfulfilling post; like eating a bag of popcorn, "Well it was a lot, but I barely feel satisfied.That was just a waste of time." Starting out, I would like to salute the captain on this (yesterday), his happy day. It is (was) Dustin Brown's birthday. How true-blue American can this guy get? Quiet, blue-eyed, blond haired, beat-the-shit-out-of-what-he-has-to-for-the-job-to-get-done, married-his-high-school-sweetheart, wife-and-kids Dustin Brown is even born on the day that Americans vote. This is where a line from one of last year's program would fit so well, if it were not so damn cheesy, plus it was talking about Jack Johnson: his blood is red, but also has a bit of white and blue in it. Yea, I know, I told you. As a monumental day as Captain's birthday, Gauthier's 500th game, the historic election results being what they are, and (why not? let's throw hockey in there again) Luc Robitaille voting for the first time, why wouldn't we celebrate? Chris Pronger is here to remind us.

After 3 periods of the Kings out-playing the Ducks or the Ducks down-playing to the Kings, and one monster check on Rob of the Niedermayer clan by the monster on ice himself, Brian Boyle, the game ended when Chris Pronger put it in net in OT just as Wayne Simmonds steps out of the penalty box on a 2 minute hooking call that had spilled over from the end of regulation (Hooray for run-ons!).


Though the referees of the game were not exactly rookies with the referees being Paul Devorski and Kelly Sutherland, the calls were somewhat questionable on both sides of the game. There were obvious calls that should have been made (the Kings had too many men on the ice about 3 times. In retrospect, well, you know what they say: water isn't clean when ducks are swimming in it. I am assuming that the same rule applies during winter, assuming also that the ducks did not migrate and learned to play hockey.) and there were calls that were head-scratchers to say the least. I don't want to drop any names, but if I were going to do it, I would bring up the offsides calls. It was not the sheer calls but the timing that did not go in the best direction, but I won't go in that direction.

The Kings' players with the most TOI were Kyle Quincey (24:52), Drew Doughty (21:38), and Anze Kopitar (20:05). There in lies a curious problem. Anze Kopitar was on the ice for 20 minutes and recorded 2 shots on goal. Dustin Brown had 18:49 and 5 shots on goal. I was trying to figure out the reasoning behind the weird "lull" that Kopitar is in. To offer a comparison, I went back to the last time that the Kings beat the Ducks while Kopitar was an offensive powerhouse. It was January 24, 2008. Kopitar recorded the same amount of shots, but scored a powerplay goal. His total time on ice was 18:36 (-1:29); during the powerplay he was on the ice for 6:17 (+00:37), even strength he was on the ice for 11:20 (-00:19), and during the penalty kill he was on the ice for 00:59 (-1:47). There is really no rhyme or reason for throwing numbers out; I would like to say that the clear problem is that Kopitar is not a penalty killer because his role it to take the puck to the net. When the puck is taken to the net on the PK and a goal does not result, it leads almost immediately to a risky turnover. I don't know if that is the problem though. I think Kopitar has other numbers to worry about like the 6.8 million dollars he is going to get per season, or the 72 points he had his rookie season, with the 82 point total in the sequential year, or maybe it's 1982- the year that Murray's coaching strategies are stuck in. Whatever the case maybe, the only numbers he should be thinking about are 5- the number of scoring chances that he had, 11-the amount of games played so far this season and the amount of points he had at this time last season, and 1- the line he is playing on.

For some reason, in Kyle Calder's 13:09 he had the puck in his favor more than I have seen anything go in Calder's favor. Of course, he was putting the cylinder in the triangle hole, but what is expected, really. Well, he is expected to put points up, but everyone knew what was going on this year, we all know he couldn't even put the puck past Cloutier in practice.

This was a game that definitely went to the rookies. The standouts, by far, were Drew Doughty and Wayne Simmonds. With Drew's oh so impressive pass to Kopi in the crease gave me chills and Simmonds put himself in the right places in the right times and because of that I will choose to not remember that hooking penalty with a minute and a half to go. In addition to rookies, Moller played as well as he usually does but was not as fiery in past games, but how cute did he look when he was pouting in the penalty box? Other noteables are Kyle Quincey and Erik Ersberg. Both played a solid game against a team that is on a winning streak. Ersberg was fighting for a chance to start in another game...ever and Matlock was just having fun with his Buddy O. After seeing the game against Detroit, it's hard to not want that type of play from him, but that was about 98% vinegar because Matlock was bitter salty that night. Extra Kudos go out to Ersberg and Moller. Why? Love the Swedes and this is the only chance I will get to recognize them both.

If we don't break this losing streak against Florida, I will throw myself under a Zamboni and end the suffering at once*.

*complete lie

Kings are boring...

Jarret Stoll has a blog post on The Hockey News and I have provided a link. I don't recommend clicking it. I will say that the title (kinda) is "Jarret Stoll's Blog: Starting Anew in Los Angeles." Anything that you assume would be written about the subject is there. It is three paragraphs of obvious. I regret wasting my time reading what most Kings fans could have better written.

Is it possible that there are two people (the other one being Calder) that are more dull than Tom Preissing? It seems like a crime against the human race for people this uninteresting to flaunt it.

Just because I don't want to waste another post on this:

Matt Moulson is 25 today. Happy Birthday Matty! Guess what? Dustin Brown, Anze Kopitar and Jack Johnson (you know, silly goose; the team's top players?) are all younger than you. Get to practicing and try not to screw up the top line too much, eh?

November 1, 2008: Kings vs Flames

Tonight is the most uncomfortably excited that I've felt in a long while. There is so much depth to this story, you could scuba dive in it off the coast of Brazil.

"Great Blue Hole"......creative.

For starters, this is the game in which Oscar Moller is officially declared part of the team, one of the guys. His salary will be what is stated in his entry-level contract. This does not cement his place on the team, however; he can still be sent back down to Juniors, but it will still count as the first year in his contract. So congratulations, Ozzy, that is your name now because Oscar is just not good. Here's to you, Ozzy, one of the best Swedes on the team! You just have to realize that if you screw up badly enough, it's back to juniors; so don't drink too much. Wait, is that even legal? God, this team is young.

This is also the first awkward meeting of departures (the first that was 100% the responsibility of Dean Lombardi)* that fans were against. Yes, I think you know who I am talking about. Craig "Charisma" Conroy will be in L.A. to wave hello to the fans and walk all over the little tikes that are out there attempting to play hockey. I think that Michael Cammalleri will be there too. Cammy should not be a problem, his 10th game of the season was two days ago so he is coasting from here on out. At least it would make him consistent.
*in case you don't get it, my eyes are motioning towards Rob Blake

Either Terry Murray played Lineup Lotto during Happy Hour at his Halloween party last night or he is a huge fan of The Cars because he really did "Shake it Up." (ZING!) Of course Babs will be in net because of Murray's guilt of aborting their love child. The lines tonight should look a little something like this:

Moulson-Kopitar-Brown
Frolov-Moller-Calder
O'Sullivan-Handzus-Simmonds
Stoll-Boyle-Ivanans

This brings me to awkward moment #2. Marc Crawford, of Hockey Night in Canada, will be there. As we all know, he led the Kings to 29th place in his two years of coaching. He was let go, L.A. is paying his salary (a butt-load) and he is blogging and interviewing on Hockey Night in Canada. He will be interviewing yet-to-blossom-this-season-superstar Anze Kopitar. I can already cut the tension with a machete.

He looks like he is in the middle of saying, "Fuck you..." under his breath.

I have a conspiracy theory that Marc Crawford has changed the lines in an attempt to help out L.A. Crow took one look at the lineup and thought "No, no this isn't right. Put Calder on there. Yes and Boyle, too. Where's that damn Preissing? He's in Hawaii? What? Ok, fine, put in Moulson at the top and Patty O with Zeus. Yes, Patrick on the third line. It's genius. I'll show them who can coach." He was foaming at the mouth while his veins were bulging at the neck. He turned in the roster card just as Terry Murray yelled, "Hey! He's not in charge anymore!" The deed was done.

This is going to be good. Aren't you excited, FSN? Haha. That's funny- not televised. Haha...ha. Aw, dammit. Are you serious?!